Reminiscing about my high school days I can remember the pressure there was to have sex. Within the male high school community, having sex was a “right of passage”. As we all know this attitude was very wrong. There are many issues that affect young people these days. One of these one in three sexually active people will have contracted an STD. The numbers about other birth control methods don’t lie either. Eight to nine percent of adolescents used a condom always for STD prevention and seventeen percent used a condom to prevent contraception. Condoms do offer more protection against those STD’s spread by fluids such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and HIV. Condoms do however offer less protection for those STD’s spread by skin-to-skin contact such as Herpes and Syphilis. The use of condoms in preventing contraception and STD’s is not as safe as choosing to abstain from sex altogether.
By saying that you are committed to abstinence is a very big decision. Living a life of abstinence means that you will refrain from having sexual intercourse until marriage. However this does not mean that you will never have sex, it simply means that you are waiting for the one. In some relationships for abstaining teens the line is very thin. Sometimes abstaining individuals try to walk the fine line between having sex and just “messing around”. Actions speak louder than words. Saying you are committed to abstinence and living a life of abstinence are two different things. A person can say they are a body builder, but unless they are working out on a regular basis — they are not a body builder.
Your actions will prove whether you are committed to abstinence. Don’t underestimate the human sex drive. To think you can become intimately and passionately involved with someone on a regular basis and suddenly stop just before you go all the way is like saying you can drive a car 100 miles an hour toward a cliff and slam on the brakes just before you go off the edge. Perhaps you can a time or two — but eventually you will find yourself at the bottom of the cliff — or in this case — going all the way.
? Are your dates sensational or sensual?
? Are you building wonderful memories, or will you have painful memories filled with regrets?
? When you find yourself tempted are you in control enough to immediately get out of the situation, or do you convince yourself it won’t hurt to wait a little longer.
? Are you proud of your stand on abstinence?
? Do you have an accountability partner? — Someone besides the person you date!
No one ever said sexual abstinence until marriage is easy. In fact, it may be one of the toughest choices you make in your life. To succeed it will require a great deal of self-control, self-respect and self-discipline. Most people are capable of controlling themselves, but in our society, the ability to control self is not looked upon with the recognition it deserves. The question is, are you going to make the right choice? Is the person you are dating ready to make the right choice?
It doesn’t matter how good you are; how great an athlete or student you might be — you are going to find yourself tempted to get involved in a physical relationship. The feeling is normal and natural, after all, we are all sexual creatures, living in a sexual society. YOU must determine if you are going to control this powerful sex drive.
The best way to support yourself in your decision is to be honest with your partner and talk about your feelings. If you can explain that you can be in love and not have sex this may work as a strategy for you. Also you can explain to your partner that waiting gives you time to have fun, yet share feelings and build trust. Other effective ways would be to plan alternatives to show that you care. For example you can go on a picnic or go to concerts. If you want stay true to your goal it is important to keep the lines of communication open, because if you can talk about abstinence then you can talk about anything. It is very important that your decision is clear and to have your partners support.
Abstinence is not a decision that is very easy to make. In fact it is not for everyone. It is a responsible alternative though to having unprotected sex and the numbers don’t lie. With the rising rates of teen pregnancies and STD’s, the safest alternative is to abstain from sex. Dealing with the pressures is the hardest thing about staying sex free. Take time to feel good about the benefits of the decision you have made and celebrate your ability to make an important choice that you can stick to.