Throughout the past semester I have learned many aspects of marriage, family, and relationships. To narrow each topic down to the most important aspects was not an easy task, I thought long and hard before I came to my final decisions. I first and foremost believe that communication is the most important element in all three areas. I know this may sound repetitive but without communication I don?t feel like you can have a working marriage, family or a relationship. The other two aspects I chose for marriage are advancing through the stages of marriage and making decision regarding when to start a family in a marriage. The other two aspects I chose for family are learning gender roles and work in the family. The final two aspects I chose for a relationship was the halo effect and understanding sexuality.
I have already touched on why I chose communication for marriage, but I would like to talk about the other two aspects I chose. Choosing when to start a family in a marriage, if done probably, is a big decision. Couples need to think whether or not at that time in there relationship if they are ready for a child to come into their relationship. A child can be a lot of stress on a couple. A couple must also take into consideration whether or not they are able to afford a child. I know that the later of my two reasons sounds cold, but I am a firm believer that if a child is being brought into this world then that child should not have to worry about whether or not their parents have enough money to feed, shelter, and meet their everyday needs. The other aspect I chose for marriage was going through the different stages of marriage. Just like development, marriage has several stages. I believe that all married couples go through all the stages.
I also chose communication for the most important aspect of family. I would like to talk about why I chose the other two aspects of learning gender roles and work in the family. From reading the text I have learned that boys and girls learn gender roles at a very young age, starting at birth parents treat the boys and girls differently. I believe boys and girls learn to pattern themselves after their parents gender roles. If this is the case, parents have a large responsibility to show their children that there are certain gender roles that boys and girls play, but they can if they chose to break the mold of undesirable gender roles in society. The other aspect I chose in a family was work. In today?s society it is not uncommon for the female to go back to work. I feel that woman have every right to be in the work force as men, but when women go back to work men need to start to or continue to help around the house so women do not experience the sociological aspect of Second Shift.
The three aspects I chose for relationships were communication, halo effect, and understanding sexuality. In the first paragraph I talked about why I chose communication, so I will talk about my other two aspects. The halo effect is in my opinion is what starts relationships. I feel that a person must in some way be physically attractive to the other person for them to begin a relationship. The other aspect of relationships I chose was understanding sexuality. Sexuality has been a topic over the years that most couples would ignore. Without communication of yours and your partner?s sexuality, sexual intercourse could become an undesirable aspect in a relationship. Sex and sexuality should not be a hush hush topic; people should openly share their questions and desires with one another for a relationship to work.
On December 18, 1999 I am getting married in Miami, Fl. Over the last semester I have been reading and trying to apply every aspect of relationships and marriages to my own situation. I know I am sounding like a broken record but after reading in my text book that communication is the most important part of a relationship, myself and my fianc? have tried to become more open in our lines of communication. The other new information I remember reading about was balance individual and couple leisure activities with each other. I don?t know if I am understanding this right but I believe this concept was saying balance different activities that each on of you enjoy doing that way neither one of you are doing activities that you do not care for. The third concept that I have learned and related back to my own relationship is the honeymoon effect. I have sat down with my fianc? and we agreed to always let each other know if something is bothering us.
As I have stated in the above paragraph, I believe that I have gained more knowledge about working relationships. I believe that my fianc? and I have applied this knowledge to our advantage. The main thing that I leaned from this class is that relationships take work, they do not just happen over night. I believe for my benefit I could not have chosen a better time to take this course, I believe it will help me in my relationship with my future wife as well as one day starting a family.