In class we have just completed Milton Mayeroff book On Caring. Mayeroff discusses many of life?s philosophies, and the meaning and importance of caring as well as being cared for. He deals with peoples basic morals towards caring and being cared for in many situations. Caring is ?feeling and exhibiting concern and empathy for others.? (Encarta ?99?). I feel that caring is being able to be honest, trust, and also being able to stay strong with courage. All these aspects play a large role in a person growth over years with their family, and friends as well as associates. Caring is often taken for granted, but Mayeroff clearly defines the true meaning of caring in his book. He really makes you recognize who in your life has played a serious role, and how you know if you are truly caring for another.
In Mayeroffs book he writes on over thirty topics of caring. I have chosen five topics that I feel are the most significant in his book On Caring. First I believe that honesty is the core essential in caring for another. ?Honesty is present in caring as something positive, and not as a matter of not doing something, not telling lies of not deliberately deceiving others.? Mayeroff (p.g. 25). The only way to be able to build a solid relationship with another person is to be honest. I feel that this is necessary in a relationship; if you are not honest you will not only cheat yourself but others as well. The truth hurts but it is always better to deal with the truth then to be deceived and have to learn how other people deal in stressful situations. I feel personally that this is the core essential ingredient in a caring relationship. ?Honesty is the best policy? Mayeroff (p.g. 26).
The second aspect of caring I want to deal with is trust, and how I feel it relates to one of the five major aspect of caring. ?Caring involves trusting the other to grow in its own time and in its own way. It appreciates the independent existence of the other, that the other is other.? Mayeroff (p.g. 27). Being able to trust someone is a key essential in family, friendship, and in marriage. Trust is not something to be learned, but is something that is developed over time. ?In caring for another person I trust him to make mistakes and to learn from them.? Mayeroff (p.g. 27). This is a prime example of how trust is gained in relationships with people. No one has a perfect relationship, we are human and make mistakes but we are also smart enough to learn from our mistakes. But not being able to trust someone can destroy a relationship. ?We show lack of trust by trying to dominate and force the other into a mold, or by requiring guarantees as to the outcome, or even by ?caring? too much.? Mayeroff (p.g. 27).
The next two topics I am going to discuss go hand and hand, hope and courage. Hope is dependent upon courage, without courage there is no hope. ??Not to be confused with wishful thinking and unfounded expectations. Such hope is not an expression of the insufficiency of the present in comparison with the sufficiency of a hoped-for future; it is rather an expression of the plenitude of the present, a present alive with a sense of the possible.? Mayeroff (p.g. 32). Mayeroff wants to clarify the difference of when you hope something good happens and the true meaning of hope for someone?s well being for example. Hope in turn gives a significant presents to the future for someone. A person that is terminally ill there is the hope for a cure threw scientific medicines, and new breakthroughs with cutting edge technology. ?By contrast, where there is no possibility of new growth, there is despair.? Mayeroff (p.g. 33).
??Only does courage make hope possible, it is equally true that hope makes for courage?Lack of hope, on the other hand, eats away any sense of worthiness?? Mayeroff (p.g. 35). Courage is being able to go into the unknown and not turn back. Such as a boy going threw manhood or even a woman having a baby. Anything you do in life is threw decisions and actions that you make, and in turn what ever you cause in your life is what you are effected by. Courage plays a large role in caring; being able to be by your friend threw trying circumstances. ??The greater the sense of going into the unknown, the more courage is called for in caring.? Mayeroff (p.g. 35).
The last aspect of caring which I feel ties all other aspects together is caring for myself. ?In being able to care for yourself you must be able to see yourself from the inside as you appear from the outside.? Mayeroff (p.g.59). The way you care for other people you must care for yourself. You must not sell yourself short at the cost of other people, you have to give you self the same chance to grow and be your own person. You have to be responsive to your own needs to grow and not endanger yourself. ?In helping the other to grow, I grow as well.? Mayeroff (p.g. 59).
Hurricane Floyd has impacted the whole entire eastern seaboard leaving massive flooding and has destroyed so many homes, as well as claimed several lives. But what I feel so amazing is how so many people can pull together in a time of crises. Even on a national level people hope for each other?s well being in times of natural disasters. I feel this is true because people share a common bond when they are threatened. People need to have a lot of courage when a hurricane the size of Texas is heading straight for them. This just goes to show you how people can all pull together because they care.
In Elizabeth Kubler-Ross address to Union College she explains that she works with dying patients. She explains in her address that all her patients consistently tell her that they wish they did more with their lives. They wish they did not stress themselves over such petty problems as well as wasted so much time with them. ?It is not the sunny days that make human beings out of you or that give you strength of faith of trust or love, that it is the moments of hardship in life that make you a man or a woman.? Kubler-Ross (Commencement Address; Union College). Being able to live does not mean giving your children materialistic items for example, but giving them memories that they can cherish for the rest of their lives. The biggest thing in life is if you have lived a full life. The only way you are capable of doing this ??is if you have had the courage to live your life.? Kubler-Ross. The only way to make this possible is to do what you want to do, see what you want to see. Experience new things and do not be afraid to experience new feelings. You only live once so live your life to the fullest and do not get worked up over nonsense, because in the end it will be the least of your worries. Ms. Kubler-Ross has had a lot of insight into life?s experiences threw her patients. You should learn from peoples mistakes so do not sell yourself short. This all has to do with caring for your self, its up to you to decide your future.
The five aspects of caring I have discussed I feel are the most significant. This is because without one of them you cannot have a successful caring relationship. The hurricane is a prime example of how courage is shown in people in times of natural disasters. Also in Kubler-Ross?s address you can see another perfect example of how caring for your self is vital in being able to enjoy your life to its fullest. Mayeroff exemplifies caring in every possible aspect.