The Lady Who Lives In A Car Essay, Research Paper
Geoff, a middle-aged man, sits with his wife. The play is
set in the sitting room of his cosy two-up-two-down house in Bradford. The main
furnishings include a large sofa in front of an old television. We?d just got ourselves nicely settled on the settee, in
front of the telly. ?I tell you, we get some right funny people round here.? I
said. ?How do you mean?? She says. ?Right, well. One day in job, and I?ve
already had my first nutter.? I started to tell her about my day at work. ??????????? This
morning, I got up bright and early, to make a good impression like.
Everything?s going okay on my new patch. Well, until I get to Gordon Road. I
weren?t surprised at first really, just a bit shocked to see one of them old
Ford Consuls. I mean, my old man used to drive one, but they?ve not been around
for years now. Problem is, there?s no Tax sticker. ??????????? It was
still early, and I felt a bit hesitant about issuing a ticket that premature,
y?know, I don?t want a bad reputation or nothing. So I decides not to, in the
hope that it?ll be gone by time I get round again. Y?know, like a short-stay or
something. ??????????? Anyway,
all?s well on rest of round, but by the time I get back to Gordon Road, the
car?s still parked there. I looked into the window like, and noticed steam.
Thought there must be a dog inside or something. See, this car?s parked right
outside this house. So I thought, ?I know, I?ll introduce myself to the locals,
and while I?m at it, I can ask about that dog in the car out front.? ??????????? So, I
knocked on the door. This old bloke opens, ?Good morning,? he says, ?is there a
problem?? I said ?No problem, sir. Just wondering about that dog in the car,
outside your driveway?. ?Dog?? he says, and starts laughing at me. I then
decide to come across all official like, and I says, ?Is something funny, sir??
He says, ?No. Not at all. Quite the opposite in fact. You?ll see.? Okay, so I
decide this?ll be the last chance for the Consul, and carry on round for the
second time.?? ??????????? ?While
you?re up, love. Do us a cup of tea, will you? Oh, and you couldn?t fetch me
the paper, could you? Oh, and one of them cold turkey sandwiches would be nice.
Thanks.? ??????????? Anyway,
by the third time I get round, the car?s still there. So I march over, quick
like. And I hear this singing, ?Laa-di-daa-di-laa.? Y?know, one of the real
oldies. So I looked in, and there?s this old bird. Must?ve been 50, if not 60.
She?s a right mess, and an even worse singer. In any case, I knock on the
window and ask her to step outside. So she does. Blimey! She looks like a right
witch! ??????????? I
said, ?Morning madam. Is there any explanation for the lack of a Tax Disc on
your vehicle?? And she cackled at me. So I said, ?How long have been here,
love?? She said, ?Almost 15 years, sonny.? Next, I said, ?And have you been in
trouble with the authorities about your lack of a legal disc on your vehicle,
previously?? ?No,? she reckons, ?I live here.? ??????????? Core!
What a cheek, eh? There she is, telling me, a Traffic Warden, that she?s not
been in trouble wi? authorities before, despite no Tax sticker. She must?ve
thought I were born yesterday! ?So what did you say, love?? Says my wife.
?Well,? I said, ?I gave her what for.? ??????????? I
mean, I?ve got nowt against the hoi polloi, but when she don?t pay taxes like
the rest of us? Well, I?ll bet she still takes advantage of the road-cleaner?s
services, and the free lighting. ?Pass me the remote, will you love?? ??????????? ?Besides,
it?s anti-social. Living in a car. Whoever heard of someone living in a car? A
lady who lives in a car. A lady! And it makes the place look untidy. That car?s
a right eyesore. Especially in one of them rich roads like Gordon Road. You
agree, love?? ??????????? So
I said to her, ?And do the authorities know about your residence here?? ?She
said, ?Yes. They?ve known all the time I?ve been here.? Well, that?s where I
draw the line. I mean, being talked down to by nothing more than a tramp. ??????????? ?Thing
is, there?s nothing I can do about it, is there? If she reckons she?s allowed
to stay there, then who am I to tell her otherwise? I will have a word with the
gaffer about it.? I said. ?You like
Eastenders, don?t you pudding?? ??????????? ?And
what would you do, dear?? I said. ?Well,? says she, ?I?d leave it, Geoff. If
people are happy for her to live there, then live and let live, I say.? And I
said, ?That?s your problem. You?ve too much compassion, it?s all very
wishy-washy if you ask me. Things didn?t used to be like this. I wouldn?t want
her near my kids. I think me and you are of a different breed, Deirdre. I?ve
decided, anyway. I?ll give her a ticket tomorrow. See how she likes that.? ??????????? ?