Darkheav Essay, Research Paper
A Dark So Heavy Part of you knows me. You know, that thing lurking atthe edge of your world. The ravenous thing. The creaturethat fed on your fears as a child. Yes, that’s right, theone in the closet. You didn’t realize what I was then, didyou? Only when your were older, wiser, and more alone thanever before. It was then that you knew, but you couldn’tverbalize. You must think me a monster. I am. I’m your personalmonster. I’m not real, eh? Your parents told you that, butyou never believed them. Why play games now, with me, when Iknow you so well? You cried tears into the pillow, after your parentsleft. The white cotton pillow. The one your mother fluffedup every night, just before your session with me. I likedthose tears. No offering could have been more delicious. Ilicked them off your pillow, from your cheeks, your lips,your eyes. Licked you to sleep. You should thank me. I was the only one who would evertouch you. In any way. Every one else said they loved you. Itouched you. Every time you touched yourself. In yourfingers, that’s where I hid. Want to be touched now? There’sno one who’ll do it, but me and you. Together. It was more fun as you got older. Feeding on you, thatis. More pain, from your friends, family, but not from me. Iwould eat you when they had finished. Sucking out the hope,with deep strokes of my tongue, right there. You know where. In that heavy pit of emptiness, within your heart. Some daythat will be my home. I’m sick of closets. Did you feel me there. When the only one you everwished to love, pushed you away. Just a little push at
first. Then harder, when you didn’t go. Harder, stabbing tothe quick, deeply. Again. It was good for me. Was it goodfor you too? Feeling a little strange now? Don’t blame me. Thatwouldn’t be fair. I didn’t make you shave. Not down there. It was slick for me though, and sweet. The cuts from therazor left a small tinge of burgundy, and a slight taste ofblood. The stuff of which emptiness is made. Blood and me. But that’s cliche. You surprised me, when you started to hit yourself. Some good smacks. On your shoulders, and your head. Youcan’t drive me out. Not that way. Not with a feast. Bloodand orchids, only one thing will drive me away, and thattakes guts. But you’ve always been a coward. Invertingyourself into that hole within. The pit that I made. Flagellate yourself all you wish. The smell is exquisite,and I only grow stronger, like an undertow. So heavy, andcold. What do you expect now? Standing there naked as youare, ready to bend over. A cane in your hand. Do you want meto strike the blow. I won’t. But when the blow falls, I’llbe ready. To lick you there. You know where. To feed, andtake the tears from your lips. Don’t feel trapped, in mychains of loneliness and sadism. I’m all you have. You’ve almost finished that special place. Deep within,where only I can get. That part of you knows. No place tohide now. Soon I won’t lurk in the closet. I’ll be with you,the one you love. The only one to touch your lips, or kissyour breath. I will feed forever with you, as we are bound. By a dark so heavy. Love and Dark Dreams, F.D. Lind