The Only Child Essay, Research Paper
The Only Child
Popular thinking often gives an unflattering picture of only children, portraying
them as self – centered, attention seeking, dependent, and temperamental. Despite these
negative stereo types, smaller families in general, and only child option are growing in
population. This essay will determine how and why the only child differs from a child
who has siblings and if being an only child is really a disadvantage. It will also
determine the advantages of being an only child.
Only children, like first – borns, generally have been found to score slightly higher
on measures of intelligence than younger siblings. Also, first – borns, last – borns, and
only children posses the highest level of self esteem. Recent findings reveal that an only
child is more socially sensitive, does better in school, is no more likely to be shy, self
centered or spoiled than a child with siblings. (Newman, 19) Only children are generally
quiet stable, secure, sharing and happy individuals. Despite daily evidence that
relationships with siblings can be doubtful, many only children fantasize about what
having a sibling might be like. Only children also have very strong ideas about what
siblings could be, everything from associates to role models. Clearly, only children come
with all sorts of personalities, whether they are shy or out going depends on many factors.
Being an only child can have many advantages and disadvantages.
The disadvantages to being an only child is they may have low tolerance for
frustration. For example, their used to getting what they want when they want it. Being
an only child can sometimes be nerve wrecking because the parents of an only child tend
to be considerate and protective of their child s feelings. Not only do they not want their
child to come to harm, they themselves to do not want to be the source of injury to their
child. (Sifford, 64) This causes the parents to constantly be on the child s back. Always
being in the spotlight can sometimes cause stress and be depended on most of the time.
Also, being an only child is a disadvantage in terms that they might not always want to
talk to their mom and dad. There are some things that an only child can not talk to their
parents about and feel the need to have someone else there to talk to. Only children tend
to take hurts deeply to heart and hold on to them for a long time. For example, when
thinking about a difficult time still makes them angry. They also may be private and
protective of vulnerable feelings and may not want to discuss certain situations.
(McGrath ,97)In spite of all the disadvantages an only child might have, only children
have many advantages as well.
Only children that do not have to share love and attention from parents brings a
certain amount of strength and security, and since only children s toys and play things
are not constantly taken away by siblings, only children find it easier to share with others.
Other studies have confirmed that having an increased exposure to the adult world, only
children have more comprehensive vocabularies and tend to mature earlier because of
this exposure. (Sifford, 73) Since only children are often alone, they are usually
searching for playmates and use toys and play things to attract others to play with them,
actually creating a personality that loves to share. The extra attention the only child
receives is shown in many areas from a strong sense or security to the desire to achieve.
Later on in life, as a whole, only children do tend to achieve more. There are many
disadvantages and advantages of being an only child but the life style any child is
exposed to, will have an affect on that child. A child learns from everything around
them not just from their home environment. If a child is loved and feels warm and
secure, it just doesn t matter.
Every child is different in their owns ways. A person or child s personality
depends on the environment that surrounds them. Any child, whether a child with
siblings or an only child needs to be loved and feel secure. So is being an only child
really a disadvantage? Well, there are no major differences between only children and
others. If anything only children come out looking better than others their age with
regards to intelligence, achievement, and relations with adults. They are, on average, no
more unstable or self – centered than any other children. So being an only child can be a
disadvantage as well as an advantage depending on the child, the family, and the
environment. There are many factors that must be considered before judging whether
being an only child is bad or good. Some people who have experienced being an only
child may feel that it is a disadvantage, and others may feel that it is an advantage, but
like what was said, it depends on many factors. The stereotype says the only child can be
selfish, lonely, insecure, spoiled, possessive, bossy, cautious, dependent, and unusual.
But in truth, the only child can be generous, social, confident, considerate, sharing,
cooperative, adventurous, independent, and normal.