Who Are We To Decide Essay, Research Paper
Who Are We to DecideTwo Christmases ago, my Aunt Linda then 44, announced to the family that she and Uncle Mike, were having a baby. Everyone was excited, “We haven’t had a baby in the house for 17 years,” all the women shouted. It was the best Christmas day we had in a long time. Of course someone had to ruin it all a few hours later. Uncle Ernest told Mike he was crazy for spending money at fertility clinics, and that Linda was too old to have a baby. To my disbelief another one of my Uncles felt the same way. Who made them the baby police of women more than forty? I couldn’t believe it, all this because of someone’s age. Women over forty should not be persuaded out of having children, simply encouraged to be aware of the risks and precautions, and we should be supporting them in the decision to have a child. In “And Baby Makes 3, Even If You’re Gary,” Linda Wolfe addresses that we should support the position of older women having babies through the help of medical technology. The article starts with the jealousy of her brother. At the age of 62 he announces that he and his thirty something year old wife are going to have a baby. While she (Wolfe), ten years his junior has to deal with the inevitable post-menopausal years that make it impossible to conceive a child naturally. She writes about a British woman, with the help of in-vitro gave birth to twins at the age of 59. Afterwards a debate broke out whether this lady was too old to be a parent. She questions the idea of why men are celebrated when they sire children late in age, while women are criticized when they do the same. Wolfe states that the average age of women looking to have babies through technology is 51, and 85 is the average age of people when they enter nursing homes. Wolfe also touches on a few other points, such as the advantages that older parents bring to child rearing, and that there is no evidence of older parents being unfit. In short, Wolfe supports in-vitro in aiding older women to have babies (Wolfe 231).Like Wolfe, I too believe women over forty should be supported and encouraged in having children if they wish. Who are we to say they shouldn’t have babies? The women who choose to have a child late in life are responsible enough to make their own decisions and if they are unable to get pregnant naturally, they must go through a multitude of physical and emotional tests to be a candidate for fertility clinics. There is no guarantee the doctor will select them for a fertility program. We have to remember that there are many career minded women in their 20’s and 30’s that are putting off family life for briefcases, and 50 hour work weeks. Many of these women are waiting until their 40’s and 50’s to have their first child. Most people think women shouldn’t have kids that late in life, but what is wrong with having financial and emotional stability? What about owning your own home and being responsible for your own actions? More attention should be given to the thousands of young people having babies and less emphasis on how old is too old to be a parent. Although later-age pregnancy can put them at higher risk for health complications, there is an upside. Older women are more mature, realistic and dedicated to the idea of having a baby than a woman in her 20’s. They have also given much thought to the changes a new baby will bring. “Such advantages, not to mention the blissful enthusiasm for parenthood that is the hallmark of most graying mothers and fathers, may outweigh drawbacks associated with anxiety about health and stamina”(Wolfe 231).
No doubt there are risks involved and one of the biggest issues for older mothers is the risk of having a child with chromosome abnormalities. The most common is Down syndrome, a condition that causes mental retardation and defects of the heart and other organs. While the risk of having a child with Down syndrome is relatively low–only 1 percent at age 40–it is still greater than the women in her 20’s (Hays 692). No matter how old you are there is risk in all pregnancies. There are, however, two prenatal tests, amniocentesis and chorionic villus sampling (CVS), that detect chromosome disorders. A new prenatal blood test administered at 15 to 22 weeks can help a woman decide whether or not the risk is high enough to warrant amniocentesis. This test may also flag twice as many at risk pregnancies as the conventional check alone. For many over 40, amniocentesis is still recommenced because the new screen cannot indicate other chromosomal risks. Dad’s age is also a matter of concern. Statistics prove that children born to men over 40 have a higher risk of other genetic diseases. Ultrasound can sometimes detect early signs. Both tests carry a slight risk of a miscarriage, and if the test results are abnormal, these women are faced with the decision to continue or terminate the pregnancy. Diabetes, high blood pressure, pre-eclampsia, pre-term delivery, placental problems, or still births are more common for women in their 40’s than for younger women (Hays 676). Women who know all the risk and facts and are still willing to go through with their decision to try to have a baby should be supported 100%. No matter whether a woman over 40 becomes pregnant by means of egg donation, in-vitro fertilization, hormonal supplementation, or naturally, it is her decision to have a child. She has to endure so much. Doesn’t she have the right to subject herself to that if she wishes? She knows that there is a long road ahead if she decides to do this and that there is no guarantee she will become pregnant after spending thousands of dollars. It is nonsense to think older mothers would be incompatible of raising their own children. I will continue to support a woman’s right to have a child past the age of forty. Maybe you should tell that to all the grandmothers who raise their grandchildren every day, because young mothers are too busy having fun with their friends. They seem to be doing a great job. Should we revoke grandmas’ position because she’s too old and not qualified for the job? (Wolfe 231). People would think you’re crazy, wouldn’t they?
Hays, Rachel. “The Dynamics of Life.” Columbus, Ohio: Merrill, 1991.Wolfe, Linda. “And Baby Makes 3, Even if You’re Gray.” New York Times 4 Jan. 1994: A15. Rpt. In Writing in the Disciplines. Kennedy, Mary Lynch, William J. Kennedy, and Hadley M. Smith. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Prentice Hall, 1996. 230-231.