Saturday nights usually involve some sort of stress relief for most college students. One Saturday, like many others involved some drinking to cope with college life. But, unlike other Saturdays this one ended with my roommate, Jeff, in the hospital and me with a two hundred and nine-dollar ticket and a new outlook on the River Falls Police Department.
The clock said 9:00pm and Jeff and I decided we should head to a party. Freezing rain drizzled throughout the afternoon leaving a slippery walk for us. Our intake of alcohol adversely affected our half-mile trek to the party house. As we entered the house we could hear the sound of music blaring from the basement. After purchasing a cup, we headed down the stairs to wait in line for the keg. People crowded the basement forcing us to push through them. The party seemed similar to most Saturday night parties here; the lack of females forces most guys to get extremely intoxicated. After drinking a few cups of watered down beer (supposedly MGD but we knew it was Busch) the keg ran out. This disappointed us, because we did not get our money?s worth. Then Jeff quickly pointed out that drinking any beer represents a small victory. (1) Luckily we drank heavily before the party because long lines and three-two keg beer makes it hard to get intoxicated by just buying a cup.
The icy, downhill walkways posed a significant problem. We slipped and slid all the way to campus. As we approached our dorm something caught our eye. It seems that someone decided to build a nice snowman in front of our building. As most people know, drunken guys find destroying any object to be quite fun. Jeff ran at the snowman and gave the snowman a swift kick to the mid-section causing half of the snowman to fall. Jeff wanted to completely destroy the snowman. He decided that he needed to use more force. He jumped towards the snowman but managed to miss it completely. This caused me to fall down laughing. Then I noticed that Jeff didn?t seem to be all right. Blood dripped down Jeff?s face. This sobered me up a little bit. I knew Jeff needed to get to the hospital so I ran to the front desk to call an ambulance. Jeff drank so much earlier that he didn?t even feel pain, but he managed to utter that at least he messed up the snowman.(2)
Last semester I attended a different University where underage drinking didn?t draw so much attention. Unlike that school, UWRF calls the police anytime they expect minor consumption of alcohol. So before the ambulance arrived the campus police did. They acted nice so I cooperated because I didn?t think they?d give us minors. The police here have a funny way of showing appreciation to those who cooperate. While the paramedics tended to Jeff?s injuries; I took a Breathalyzer. This infuriated me. I decided that the police needed to be aware of my feelings. I explained what I thought about the situation. I shouted obscenities at both officers for about ten minutes. This pissed them off a little because they decided to slap me with a disorderly conduct ticket. I decided that I got my point across so I shut my mouth.
My friend, Jeff, ended up with about fifty stitches in his head and face plus a two hundred and nine-dollar fine. I got away without any stitches, but the minor fine and the disorderly conduct added up to about three hundred and sixty dollars. Even though I have to pay a hefty fine at least I know that the River Falls Police Department understands my feelings about them.(3)