The Beast Within Essay, Research Paper
Jasper walked up the hill slowly, but steadily taking in long gasping breaths of air. The cool refreshing country breeze filled his lungs as he walked and he felt it give him a new burst of energy. The top of the hill (Telegraph Hill named aptly because of the old telegraph poles that used to mount it) was only a few steps away now and already Jasper could see the excellent view of his tiny country town that he was born and raised in, Hicksvile. The top of the hill was lush with all types of green, and the small pond that was so popular in the summer with the various children of Hicksvile was deep blue and its water looked very inviting to the sweating and very thirsty Jasper. He submersed his head in the chilled liquid and drank deeply, cooling his burned parched throat. He then looked up and glanced around, down in the town the lights were just starting to come on and the townsfolk would soon be off to work in some of the shops in town or in the many and varied farms littered throughout the small valley. Jasper looked out just beyond the outskirts of town and sighted a large red and white striped tent, a circus tent. At least he would have something to do in the invariably long and boring holiday’s coming up. With that thought, and the sight of the townsfolk coming out from their homes, Jasper decided to walk home.In the morning, the town was a hustle of activity: shops were opening for the days trade, farmers drove their noisy and usually a tad bit rusty tractors on down the cobbled streets onto the golden wheat fields, and the towns children were just coming out to play. Jasper strolled down through the town with his head down, hoping to avoid any trouble. Unfortunately it was this exact action that caused him to walk straight into Bill Jenkins, the town bully, and his gang of cronies. Bill had basically lead a campaign of hate against him all year, at school and away and it was because of him that Jasper was so despised by the whole town. Bill was the ideal farmer, big, strong and stupid and most importantly admired by the town. Jasper was basically the opposite, small, wiry and too smart for his own good. “Watch where yer goin’ Casper!” Casper was Bill’s derogatory name for Jasper, and although it didn’t bother him when Bill alone called him it, but when the whole town and even his OWN family started calling him it, the name started to get to him! Bill pushed Jasper to the ground swiftly and surely, the assorted bunch behind Bill sniggered and laughed. “Owwww, little Casper fell down, here I’ll help ya up!” Bill bent down and smashed Jasper hard in the stomach and Jasper felt the breath explode out of his lungs. ” Why are you doing this?” Jasper gasped and a tear started flowing down his cheek. Bill was a year older than Jasper who was 15 and even considering his age, Bill was a huge boy. He was easily the leader of all kids in Hicksvile, a position he guarded jealously and used extensively. “Cause ya think ya so good, with all your smarts and all, well, I don’t like smartarses!” A few of the kids behind Bill agreed vehemently with him and Jasper felt a stone rocket into his head. If anything Hicksvile was not by any means a learned place. “You don’t have to be smart to read at a 5th grade level Bill,” Jasper sneered and a few kids behind Bill laughed. Bill was not known for his intelligence and it was well known that he was very barely literate. “See, that’s what gets ya inta trouble!” Bill coughed up a whole heap of phlegm and spat purposefully at Jasper. The foul substance landed directly on to Jasper’s forehead. Jasper attempted to wipe the spit off his face with as much dignity as he could muster. A few of the kids behind Bill were openly swearing and cursing him, and to Jasper, it seemed like they and Bill were all a single entity: a dark monstrous beast that was threatening to devour him with curses and physical violence. “Why don’t you guys go and look at the circus?” Jasper whispered feebly, an obvious attempt to get them to leave him alone. “What circus?” Bill sneered. “You must be stupider than I thought, now get out of my sight before I really decide to hurt you!” Jasper scrambled up and as he did, Bill’s boot crashed down upon his back, once again pushing him into the dirt and making him graze his face. Jasper crawled away as quickly as he could and as soon as he was a few feet away; Jasper jumped up and sprinted, attempting to leave the volleys of shouts and abuse behind as quickly as he could. Jasper gaspingly opened his rusty front door with a loud squeaking. The tiny hut was a complete and total mess, dirty pots and pans were left out from last nights dinner, the four raggy beds were unmade and the foul stench of unwashed human bodies filled the disgusting abode. Jaspers family were one of the poorest in the entire district and since his father was way to drunk to ever find a job, they had to do as best as they could living off what measly charity was offered to them and the occasional dollar or two brought in by Jasper’s sister Sarah. Sarah was the only relative Jasper knew that had a decent job, paying plenty of money and since his father lost his farm, she had paid for the families living costs. Sarah didn’t visit her family that much and to Jasper, it seemed that she deliberately went out of her way to avoid them. Sarah was a salesperson at one of the small boutiques in town and it was near that small boutique that she had rented a small flat. “Jasper! Where the hell have you been you sniveling little brat!” His mother sneered at him from the small family table that his Dad had managed to scavenge from the local tip. Jasper didn’t answer but walked over to the sink and started scrubbing furiously at the filthy pots. Jasper’s mother looked at him acidly; “You get beat up again?” Jasper nodded shamefully, “You’re a little good for nothing looser, why can’t you fight back?” Jasper’s mother shook her head in disgust. “Your father is ashamed of you, I am ashamed of you! The whole town is ashamed of you!” Jasper hung his head and tried to concentrate on the washing of the pots. Suddenly a loud crash was heard at the front door of the tiny hut and a shuffling figure entered the room. The strong reek of alcohol filled the hovel, and to Jasper, that ment only one thing, his father was home. “You spend our food money on grog again Clance?” Jasper’s mother looked hatingly at her husband. Clance ignored his wife and instead looked straight at Jasper. “I tol’ you ta do them dishes last night boy.” Clance whispered with the hint of menace in his voice. “Why don’t you do the bloody dishes yourself you lazy old drunk!” Such and outburst was very unusual for Jasper, and he even surprised himself as he sent a greasy dish flying in the general direction of his father; which missed, but not by all that much. Jasper made a running leap for the door but his father, even in his drunken stupor, anticipated his move and intercepted him, throwing him to the floor. “Don’ rough him up too much Clance, remember last time when we got that call from that bloody layabout social worker.” Clance nodded but pounded his fist into Jasper’s still tender stomach. Jasper lay in his sister’s bed drinking a warm glass of milk. He rubbed his bruised face tenderly and tried to ignore the intense throbbing pain in his stomach. “You okay Jasp?” His sister, Sarah walked in and sat down beside him. Sarah was the only person in the world he counted as his friend but even then she seemed reluctant to let him stay with her for long. She said it was because she had no right to take him from his Mum and Dad. Okay for her, Jasper thought, she lived with them when they owned the farm, quite a few years back, but Jasper could still remember those years slightly. His father was, even back then, an occasionally violent man, but not to the extent that he was now when he was drunk. His mother used to sing him lullabies to send him to sleep, but Jasper guessed her spirit had been so badly broken over the last few years to care about anyone or anything anymore.
“Yeah, I’m okay, listen, I’m gonna stay here for a few days okay?” Jasper was not normally that direct with people, but then again, his Sarah was the only person that he had ever felt truly comfortable with. “That’s fine Jasp, but you gotta help out with the dishes and stuff okay?” Sarah got up and made to walk out of the room but Jasper halted her. “I think I might go and have a look at the circus tonight okay?” Sarah looked at him strangely. “What circus Jasp?” “The one on the west side of town, I saw it this morning, it looks pretty big!” Sarah touched her hand to his forehead. “Are you sure you are okay Jasper?” Sarah looked at him intently. “Yes, I’m fine!” Jasper was beginning to get a little bit irritated. “So can I go?” “Yeah, do whatever you like, I’m going to work, I will probably be back at about four,” And with that Sarah left the room. Jasper looked about his sister’s bedroom and then decided to have a look around. He opened the bedside table and found a rather large revolver that he picked up admiringly. Jasper fingered the sleek black metal, he admired its smoothness and the feeling of power it gave him, it made him feel like a better person, and not the weak sniveling coward he knew he was. He had no idea why he took the gun or what he was going to do with it but he pocketed it nonetheless. The evening came quickly and after he had cooked dinner for him and his sister he made his way out to the west side of town and the circus. Jasper stayed off the main road, if Bill was bad when he was sober, Bill was a terror when he was drunk, and taking the chance of meeting Bill drunk was not a chance he cared to take. The night air pricked at his skin and he shivered as he strolled. The sounds of the night filled his air and in the distance he could hear faint circus music. In a not so long time he could see the circus tent and it, for some reason filled him with dread. He pushed that thought aside and walked closer each step was a struggle and a few times he had to actively fight and urge to break and run. As he got within a few metres of the foreboding tent a clown jumped out in front of him, startling him. The clown was dressed gaudily in flowing green, blues and oranges and although the figure did attempt to give the impression of cheerful foolishness Jasper could detect the radiation of pure evil emanating from deep within the clown. The clown sniggered haughtily at Jasper and he jumped back. “What do you want?” Jasper said shakily. “I want what you want Jasper, do you feel the rage building within you? Let it free!” Jasper stepped back unsure, somehow he felt this clown was not his enemy but in some sense of the word an ally or friend. “I think I might leave now, bye.” Jasper turned to leave but was stopped by the clowns entrancing voice. “You cant run from what you really want forever Jasper, why not give in and let yourself be free?” Jasper found himself getting angry, but not at the clown. It was an anger he could not pinpoint at anyone or anything, but it was anger unlike anything he had ever felt before. Suddenly Jasper felt a hand upon his back, a soft hand, one that he recognized to be Sarah’s as he jumped around quickly. “Why are you talking to yourself? And where is this circus you were talking about?” Jasper frowned at her. He was not happy that she had followed him. “It’s all around us cant you see? I’m talking to that clown over there!” Jasper pointed emphatically around him. “Anyway, what are you doing following me!” “I don’t see any circus Jasper, and as for a clown, well, why don’t we just go home?” Jasper found the anger that had been building up inside of him growing, ever growing, and now he felt it being directed at his sister. Always so preachy on how he should help at home and put up with mum and dad, as if she was the model daughter, she hardly ever even visited them! “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CANT YOU SEE THE CIRCUS, ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND?!?” Jasper had never felt like this before, he had an almost euphoric feeling of power. “Yes that’s right, let the anger flow Jasper,” the clown instructed. Jasper spun around to face the clown. “SHUT UPPPPP!” Jasper screamed and raked at his head. “Are you okay?” Sarah asked as she took a step closer to him. Jasper jumped back and drew his gun, pointing it directly at his sister’s head his hand shaking violently. A tear rolled down Sarah’s eye and it was at this moment that Jasper almost put his gun down to comfort her. “Let your anger flow Jasper! Feel the rage!” The clown whispered persuasively. Jasper felt his anger and bile surge up from his stomach and into his throat. Jasper pulled the trigger. The bullet punctured his sister’s forehead and fragments of brain, blood and skull exploded from the back of her head. She hit the floor a moment later and the expression of terror on her exploded face gave Jasper immense satisfaction. The clown laughed a hysterical laugh and suddenly disappeared along with the huge red and white striped circus tent. Jasper knew what he had to do, and with that he stalked off into the bush. Jasper looked out over the town from Telegraph Hill, everything was dark and foreboding, but no longer frightening to Jasper. The lake was pitch black and a fog hung motionless over it like a vulture circling its kill. The sky was dismal and clouds flowed slowly onward towards some unseen and unknown goal. Jasper could hear ambulance and police sirens in the distance and he regarded his work. Bill Jenkins death was sweet; he had caught Bill at home with his parents whom he swiftly executed. Then he had closed on Bill like a shark would a bleeding fish. Bill’s expression had been one of pure and uncontrolled terror and it was this terror that Jasper was feeding off. Of all his kills, his parents had been the easiest. He had walked straight in the tiny hut, and just has his mother opened her mouth to say something probably insulting, he had shot her straight in the chest, producing a most satisfactory detonation of her innards against the wall of their hut. It was his fathers death that satisfied him most though. He hadn’t killed his father straight away, instead keeping the gun pointed on him, confidently and silently, watched intently as his father had cried! He, Jasper, had made his father cry and beg for his life in a most sniveling way! Jasper didn’t say anything to his father but instead shot him uncleanly in the throat, and his father had spent the last moments of his life gurgling on the blood surging out from his throat. With this thought Jasper smiled and he sunk into dreamy contemplation. The sound of sirens nearby brought Jasper back to his senses. The time had come for him to complete his work. It was time for him to kill the person he hated and despised most of all. Jasper looked out into the distance, raised his gun to his head, took a deep breath and fired.