Sorrow
Whether it is getting a bad grade in English class, leaving home to go
to college, or losing a loved one, we all experience sorrow. Sorrow is some
kind of pain or distress of the mind caused by a loss or misfortune. It is a
part of life that we all must learn to deal with. People cope with sorrow in
different ways. Certain people let every misfortune that they encounter get to
them. They flip out if they get a C on one of the many minute assignments in a
class. If they get a traffic ticket, they think the world is coming to the end.
People who deal with sorrow like this are not being reasonable. Do these people
believe these minor flaws in their day-to-day living are going to have a life
long affect on them? They do not have to be sad, but they choose to be.
One day I got my second traffic ticket in my first year of driving. As
soon as I looked into my rear view mirror and saw the officer turn on his
flashing lights, my heart sank into my stomach. The officer asked if I knew why
I was being stopped. I was speeding and I knew it. The officer went back to
the car and began to write the ticket, while I was sitting in my car thinking.
At first I thought about how much trouble I was going to be in and how much
money it was going to cost me. I was very depressed. Then I got to thinking.
What’s the big deal? It’s just a little traffic ticket. Sure, I may get in
trouble, but who cares? It’s just a small detail in my life. I can whine and
complain, or I can focus on the more important things in life. Why waste away
the days feeling gloomy and depressed? What good is it serving me to feel this
way?
Sorrow is like a rock being thrown at you. You can choose to watch it
approach you until it hits you right between the eyes, or you can out of the way
and let it pass you by. Of course different levels of sorrow exist and some are
harder to deal with than others, but most day to day misfortunes don’t have to
be the cause of sadness and depression.
Sorrow is divided into four groups; sorrow, grief, anguish, and woe.
Different people can tolerate different levels of sorrow.
The first group, regular sorrow, is the least extreme. This is the
feeling you get during the last days of summer when you know school is just
around the corner. You may experience sorrow when you get an awful grade on a
test. Many people deal with it quite well, but some do not. Some people still
let these small things get to them. And if they don’t let the sorrow go, then
it could bring them to the next stage, grief.
Grief is more acute and more distressing than sorrow. You may
experience grief when you move away from home and you miss your friends. Grief
is usually a little harder to shrug off than sorrow, but many people can do it.
It may occur when you lose a loved pet. Most people will be a little sad for
awhile, but they will usually be able to overcome it. Other people do not need
much time at all to get over the loss. It’s not that they loved the pet any
less than everyone else. It’s just that they don’t let things get to them.
They don’t want to walk around everyday being depressed about everything. They
choose not to. But most people can only endure hardships to a certain level.
This brings us to the next stage.
A very extreme form of grief is anguish. This is when an event tortures
and terrifies the spirit. This can occur when a parent dies tragically in a car
accident or for me, losing one of my Soundgarden CDs (ha ha). Not many people
can deal with anguish. Some people can overcome it, but it usually takes a very
long time. Anguish is a form a form of sorrow that is very hard to cope with,
but if it can’t be overcome, you may experience woe.
Woe is the most extreme form of sorrow. It is prolonged and
inconsolable sorrow. It may happen when your daughter gets kidnapped on her
13th birthday. The thought of not knowing whether your daughter is dead or
alive or where she is can ruin you. Woe can destroy your life. Many people who
experience this kind of sorrow turn to drugs to deal with it. It can often lead
to suicide. This class of sorrow is very, very hard to deal with, but some
strong people can do it with time.
Bad things happen to everybody, but not everybody lets those things get
to them. Everyone has a choice. Sorrow can control you, or you can control
sorrow. It’s your choice. People need to learn to deal with it properly. When
a bad thing happens to them, they need to ask themselves, ” Ten years from now,
how will I look back at this event? Will it have effected my life as a whole?
Was it really a very important factor in my life? ” Most causes of sorrow will
not have an important impact on a person’s life. Sorrow is not a fun emotion to
experience so why choose to have it. People need to take control over their
lives. I think the old Chinese proverb states it best; ” You cannot prevent the
birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from
building nests in your hair. “