Snooze Essay, Research Paper

It is seven o clock in the morning and your ever

faithful alarm clock shatters your restful slumber into

early morning chaos. You are running late. Half-dressed and

clenching a cold Pop-tart in your teeth, you run out your

front door to your car. Out of the corner of your eye you

see the next-door neighbor in his front yard. What is this,

your neighbor stayed home from work to mow his lawn? No, it

is Saturday and this is the second time this month you

forgot to turn your alarm clock off on Friday.

Alarm clocks, specifically Digital Alarm Clocks

(DAC s), are the bane of modern civilized society.

Originally created as a tool, DAC s seem to have taken on a

life of their own. To any outside observer it might seem

that these digital monstrosities delight in the torment of

their programmer.

One of the most frustrating features on your DAC is the

ability, or inability, to set the time. There are 1440

possible combinations and only two buttons to hit your mark

with. First you try the fast button, advancing the time to

within an hour of your mark. Then you try the slow button.

This button advances so slowly that you learn the true

meaning of eternity. The DAC lulls you into a false sense of

security. Frustrated, you try the fast button again, just a

tap. To your horror you find you have advanced the time

three and a half hours past your intended mark. Out of

desperation you try the fast button again, and time speeds

by so fast you begin to think you are in the chair of H.G.

Well s time machine. You stop after your third time around

and resign yourself to within 10 minutes of the actual time.

Even if you set the time correctly and remember to turn

the alarm on, there is no guarantee that your DAC will wake

you up. There will be times when you wake up and look over

at your DAC and it will be innocently blinking. At that

moment you will come to three very startling conclusions:

1. the power went out while you were asleep

2. your DAC has sucked the life out of the back-up battery

you put in last week

3. you are late.

The most disturbing feature of your DAC is the snooze

button. Most people in the beginning say they will not use

it or they do not need it. All it takes is one night out on

the town and the next morning your DAC is there offering you

the snooze. At first you think you can handle it. You begin

to use it more and more, until finally you are always

running late, missing your appointments and neglecting your

family. Sure, you say you are going to quit. You even put

the DAC on the other side of the bedroom so you can not

reach it, but in the end you hit the snooze and crawl back

into bed.

The only way out of this downward spiral is to shun all

DAC s and to just say no to snooze. This will not be easy

because DAC s are everywhere and wherever you find a DAC

you will find a snooze button. The best way to stop DAC s

destructive cycle is to not buy one. Take that money and

invest it in a Rhode Island Rooster every Sunday and have

chicken every Friday night.

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