MAIL .VS. FEMAIL
You say the glass is half-empty; I say the glass is half full. This is the way people communicate daily on a personal level or professional level. Effective communication however, is the ultimate key. As we know, communication is carried on all over the world, in many different languages, slangs, and dialects that have developed over time through the communication process. Perhaps the most obvious difference in achieving effective communication is seen in any culture, or race between males and females. Though not as obvious or radical as two different languages, it is a difference that can be equated to such. Males and females have definite different communication styles, and as a result, we respond differently under various professional, social, and personal situations.
Like the book title implies, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” we are very different. We are not from different planets, but why does it seem that way? We are raised under different norms. Is it wrong that we raise our boys and girls differently? That is a question that stems back many years and cannot be answered in this paper. Historic traditions instilled inside all of us that are unconsciously passed down through generation after generation, makes us the people that we are.
The key word is UNCONSCIOUSLY. It is part of our culture to treat the sexes differently. In most cultures women have been raised to be more passive than men, and this trait usually sticks with them all through life. From grade school on up, women have been the quiet ones. In school, guys were the ones being loud and obnoxious (remember throwing rocks and dirt at the girls.) Little did they know, that was the male way of saying “I am here, notice me”, or “I really like you.” Girls would respond with a smile to the guys or say “he is so stupid” to her friends. They use this as a shield for their real feelings and a way of communication. Do males really understand the true message? You bet they do; therefore, it can be perceived as a Morse Code, effectively translated with message well taken. Starting from the very beginning of our social careers, we have begun establishing different ways of saying the same thing.
Carrying the norms learned from childhood, the same ideas can continue on into adulthood. Though there are exceptions to the rules, it still continues. Relationships are another area where the line of communication can be extremely different. Once the relationship has left the starting blocks, and the male, female relationship has been established, communication differences immediately can be recognized. Guys have to give off a vibe at all times like we have everything under control. Prime example, asking for directions. Just to save face, we will drive 100 extra miles out of the way rather than ask for directions. Women on the other would hand have no problem asking for help, saving time, gas, and stress. That action stems back to women’s submissive nature instilled during childhood, where as guys dominance, also instilled from childhood, needs to prevail so he can feel as though he has conquered the mountain. His actions say to her that he is stubborn, has too much male pride, and is too willing to fight a needless war. Whereas her actions say to him, that she is weak, throws in the towel early, and unwilling to conquer.
Communication is the backbone of life. From inception to demise, it is necessary through all facets of life. Males and females are no exception to the rules, their communication is also very important. Not to say that one is better that the other, it’s just different. It is the difference that can be seen all over the world in every social set and has deep rooted traditions. As Anna Quindlen said in Between the Sexes, A Great Divide “Men are the other. We are the other too of course” sums up our different styles. It explains and justifies actions that we may not understand from one another. It does not explain it in plain meaning, it gives you a reason to interpret what you may not understand. The different styles can compliment one another, they may also help in the courtship. Back to my original question, is it wrong that we raise our boys and girls differently? I don’t think there is a problem raising children that way. Although our society is more diverse than ever, girls are doing the things that have been traditionally male dominated. We are slowly changing our communication styles, we are growing up together not apart. I doubt that we will ever have the same communication styles, even though we are sharing more of the same goals. Consequently, that will direct our communication to the same key, and begin to destroy traditions that are thousands of years old.