Love and Lust
Love and lust are two very strong words with very strong meanings. In this class we discussed whether or not the two are related. Love and lust are two words that go hand and hand in relationships. They are emotions that are interlocked with one another. Without one it is hard to have the other and it also seems that in order to be in and stay in love, one must desire or lust after their partner. Without that desire, love and the wanting to be with one’s partner can fade away. In relationships both must be present, but it is important to understand these emotions and keep them in balance. It is also important to understand their similarities and their differences. Although they can both be defined using the word longing, love involves much more, including commitment. Lust is an emotion that can simply come and go in the blink of an eye and it is important, as with any emotion to control lust.
The word lust usually has a negative connotation. Being brought up in church I always thought of lust as a sin that should never be indulged in. However, after a lot of thought and development of my relationships, I have found that lust is not always a bad thing. Many of my classmates looked at the word lust and thought of it merely as having a sexual meaning. All words have more than one meaning and lust is the same way. Lust can be defined as sexual attraction or it can simply be the intense longing for someone else. I would hope that if I got married I would long after my spouse. If you define lust as merely sexual attraction it will always have a negative meaning and merely lusting after one’s partner is not enough for the relationship to survive. I agree with my classmates that a relationship should not be based solely upon sexual feelings. I also liked the idea of testing a relationship. A classmate wrote that he once went for a long period of time without having sexual relations with his girlfriend. He said that this made him feel closer to her and realize that sex wasn’t everything. I think that more college students need to understand that all relationships should not be based on sexual desires alone. In order to keep that relationship going it takes a lot more, love must be present. Love involves caring deeply about someone. It means putting them first in your life. One of my classmates mentioned lust for someone other than one’s partner. They wanted to know what happens when you are already in a relationship and you find yourself lusting after someone new. I think that this kind of lust is a bad thing to get started in. I also believe, with another classmate, that there will come a point if it hasn’t already, that you will be so involved with your partner that you will not want to be with anyone else. I believe that it is okay to look but never touch. I also think that it is only natural to look at someone attractive when they pass by you, but that your love for your partner and the lust you have for them will surpass any feelings of wandering for the moment. It seems that lust is a sudden emotion whereas love comes at a much slower pace. Lust can be a fairly shallow emotion that can easily be controlled or if not, it can ruin relationships. Infidelity and divorce are some of the consequences of not controlling the emotion of lust. Lusting can also cause people to do things that they might not usually do. I can remember sitting in church and listening to the pastor talk about lust, except he related it to objects not relationships. He said that lusting after someone else’s possessions can lead to much greater sins such as murder. The point of this sermon as I saw it was to control your emotions. Every emotion if let run ramped, can cause serious damage to others and to one’s self. Lust, although having many negative meanings it can also be a very positive emotion to have. It can be the beginning of a long-lasting relationship. For example if you walk into class and sit next to someone that you are attracted to then you might start a conversation with them, which could lead to something more. I don’t think that many relationships start between two people that are not attracted to one another. As time goes on love might develop but it is the initial lust that draws two people together. Love is also what keeps people together long after a person’s looks have faded away. I think about my grandparents who have been married for over fifty years now and I wonder about whether or not they still lust after one another. My feeling is that they still do but that their love for each other is what keeps them together on a day to day basis.
Love is a deep emotion that takes time to develop. Lust is a part of love but only a small part. It is important to understand that lust is a momentary emotion and that love is the only true thing that will last. It is also important to hear other people’s opinions on the subject of lust and love in order not to become shallow minded. When we think that there is only one way of thinking about things, we set ourselves up for trouble. In relationships it is important to balance the emotion of lust. We should all strive to have the kind of relationship where our eyes don’t wonder because the person we are in love with will never compare to the person walking down the street.