Lesbian By Choice Essay, Research Paper
There are many labels, names and categories that
have been assigned or given to lesbians. What is
“lesbian”? Is it a certain type of woman? Does
one lesbian have an identical feature or character
as another lesbian? Does a lesbian have something
extra or something missing from heterosexual
women? This notion that we can classify a human
being by their sexual preference is absolutely
ludicrous and unsubstantiated! Women are just
that, women. Sexual attraction to humans, be it
the same sex or not, is not a concrete science
that can allow society to label women.
The choice of heterosexuality may not truly be a
choice. In a recent survey of women, 57% stated
that heterosexuality was not something that was
considered and then chosen. For these women,
there was no decision to be made regarding their
sexual preference (Marrow, 1997). This is an
interesting figure when you consider of those
above women, some admitted to having sexual
encounters with other women. I believe the choice
is heavily tied to our culture, family values, and
surroundings. If all of the fish are swimming
upstream, why would you want to go against your
group and swim downstream?
Within the lesbian community, Ponse (1978) makes
reference to two groups. There are many lesbians
that claim to have been “born” lesbian. To expand
on this subject, one would say these women never
questioned their sexual attraction. From day one,
they were attracted to other women. Although this
is referred to as a primary lesbian, I don?t
believe it alleviates any of the stigmas or gives
any more comfort or ease to the woman. The
elective lesbian is seen as having “elected” to be
lesbian. These are women who have experienced
heterosexual relations and have decided that they
prefer the same sex. This may appear as a choice,
but it is far from that. The environment or
family setting may have driven these women to
repress their true desires out of fear of
rejection. They may also simply be confused and
needed to try one way to better understand the
other way (Golden, 1999).
Among lesbian relationships, we find the data to
be similar to heterosexual women. This makes
sense and gives more bearing to the thought that
women are women. Lesbian couples, like their
heterosexual couples, prefer monogamous
relationships when in a deep and caring
relationship. Lesbian couples appear to want and
most importantly, expect the same things from a
relationship as a heterosexual woman (Garnets,
2000). Commitment, support, and family values.
There are those that will claim lesbian couples
cannot possibly have or want family values since
they are not themselves a true family. This is a
comical statement to me when we consider it is men
who have defined “family values” throughout the
years.
It is obvious that there are differing opinions
regarding lesbians. Their life style, their
beliefs and their choices have all been analyzed,
scrutinized and classified, but to the result of
what? Does a woman?s sexual preference affect
anyone but that person? Then why is our society so
intent on labeling, understanding and
discriminating against lesbians? Could it be that
anger is a concealment of personal repressed
sexual preferences? The time has come for humans
to act like humans and treat our species the same,
regardless of sexual preference. After all, sexual
preference does not impact intellect levels, work
ethics, or honesty in a person. I believe those
traits are more important to understand then why a
woman wants to be with another woman.
References
1. Marrow, J. (1997), Changing Positions, Women
Speak Out on Sex and Desire, Chp. 3, 59-99.
2. Ponse, B. (1978), Identities in the Lesbian
World. Westport, Conn.: Greenwood Press.
3. Golden, C. (1999), Diversity and Variability in
Women?s Sexual Identities. Readings in the
Psychology of Women, Reading 2, 179-189.
4. Garnets, L. (2000), Life as a Lesbian: What
Does Gend