Lesbian By Choice


Lesbian By Choice Essay, Research Paper

There are many labels, names and categories that

have been assigned or given to lesbians. What is

“lesbian”? Is it a certain type of woman? Does

one lesbian have an identical feature or character

as another lesbian? Does a lesbian have something

extra or something missing from heterosexual

women? This notion that we can classify a human

being by their sexual preference is absolutely

ludicrous and unsubstantiated! Women are just

that, women. Sexual attraction to humans, be it

the same sex or not, is not a concrete science

that can allow society to label women.

The choice of heterosexuality may not truly be a

choice. In a recent survey of women, 57% stated

that heterosexuality was not something that was

considered and then chosen. For these women,

there was no decision to be made regarding their

sexual preference (Marrow, 1997). This is an

interesting figure when you consider of those

above women, some admitted to having sexual

encounters with other women. I believe the choice

is heavily tied to our culture, family values, and

surroundings. If all of the fish are swimming

upstream, why would you want to go against your

group and swim downstream?

Within the lesbian community, Ponse (1978) makes

reference to two groups. There are many lesbians

that claim to have been “born” lesbian. To expand

on this subject, one would say these women never

questioned their sexual attraction. From day one,

they were attracted to other women. Although this

is referred to as a primary lesbian, I don?t

believe it alleviates any of the stigmas or gives

any more comfort or ease to the woman. The

elective lesbian is seen as having “elected” to be

lesbian. These are women who have experienced

heterosexual relations and have decided that they

prefer the same sex. This may appear as a choice,

but it is far from that. The environment or

family setting may have driven these women to

repress their true desires out of fear of

rejection. They may also simply be confused and

needed to try one way to better understand the

other way (Golden, 1999).

Among lesbian relationships, we find the data to

be similar to heterosexual women. This makes

sense and gives more bearing to the thought that

women are women. Lesbian couples, like their

heterosexual couples, prefer monogamous

relationships when in a deep and caring

relationship. Lesbian couples appear to want and

most importantly, expect the same things from a

relationship as a heterosexual woman (Garnets,

2000). Commitment, support, and family values.

There are those that will claim lesbian couples

cannot possibly have or want family values since

they are not themselves a true family. This is a

comical statement to me when we consider it is men

who have defined “family values” throughout the


It is obvious that there are differing opinions

regarding lesbians. Their life style, their

beliefs and their choices have all been analyzed,

scrutinized and classified, but to the result of

what? Does a woman?s sexual preference affect

anyone but that person? Then why is our society so

intent on labeling, understanding and

discriminating against lesbians? Could it be that

anger is a concealment of personal repressed

sexual preferences? The time has come for humans

to act like humans and treat our species the same,

regardless of sexual preference. After all, sexual

preference does not impact intellect levels, work

ethics, or honesty in a person. I believe those

traits are more important to understand then why a

woman wants to be with another woman.


1. Marrow, J. (1997), Changing Positions, Women

Speak Out on Sex and Desire, Chp. 3, 59-99.

2. Ponse, B. (1978), Identities in the Lesbian

World. Westport, Conn.: Greenwood Press.

3. Golden, C. (1999), Diversity and Variability in

Women?s Sexual Identities. Readings in the

Psychology of Women, Reading 2, 179-189.

4. Garnets, L. (2000), Life as a Lesbian: What

Does Gend

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