Finding Self


Finding Self Essay, Research Paper

I realize that the whole universe is at my fingertips, as is my willingness to manifest what is needed in my reality. Every experience of life is God teaching me. As I look in this pure state of awareness, I feel this pure energy within my whole body. From the rhythm of my breathing, I feel a quiet state of attunement — one with God. My soul incarnated into a specific form on earth for a unique purpose. My journey is now and exists at this moment, whether I want to realize it or not. Knowing my life’s purpose and acting on it will give me direction and is a necessary step in achieving true happiness. To have this deeper experience requires the ability to have conscious awareness of Soul, or Higher Self.

I find my life runs much more smoothly when I let the Universe run itself without any interference from me. As a matter of fact, the less my brain does its “stuff”, the more fulfilling my life becomes…hence more enriched. This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow the night and day, “Thou canst not then be false to any man.” “But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you.”(Matthew 5:44) Humans are not all alike, one will hate you and the other will love you. The difference in moods is the reason why humans are who they are. The knowledge that everyone is different in some way, will lead to one giant leap on my journey. Loving thy neighbor no matter what, as stated in the Ten Commandments, will enrich my spiritual progression. Not being familiar with my actual role in this Universe at this stage of my existence is at times very frustrating and often very far-fetched. Nothing happens by chance. We are a part of a universe that is forever giving us definite messages and signals, often in the form of problems. It is not an accident or coincidence that a particular problem is happening to me at any given point in my life; my difficulties are signposts waiting to be read. My life resembles the life of Pip in Great Expectations in various ways. Reminiscent of Pip, growing up I too wanted the “best” and wasn’t always fortunate enough to get everything that I wanted. I often fantasize about having a lot of money, being a successful commodity to society. Yearning for more than what I have, I set out on journeys. It can be a journey for money, for love, or for adventure. To achieve these goals I know it will take strong-will and determination on my part. Once I take on this belief and work at finding the opportunities that are contained within each situation, the experiences that follow this simple change of attitude are quite startling. “Dedicate yourselves today to the Lord…in order that He may bestow a blessing upon you today.”(Exodus 32:29) I know that with my strong faith in God, the sky’s the limit.

In our “modern” society, most of us receive a dozen years or so of formal education. But, that is only intellectual knowledge. Our emotional and spiritual development is sadly ignored. We are a society of intellectual giants, emotional children, and spiritual infants. True knowledge or wisdom is not something we can acquire solely by using our minds and brains, learning it in an academic way. It can only be gained by experience. I understand that for spiritual growth to take place in my life, I must change. I must let go of some areas in my life and personality—especially the areas that are not working well or are out of balance—and allow them to heal. What’s required for permanent change in my experience is a shift in focus from trying to overpower old beliefs with new ones, to a focus on identifying and simply dissolving the old beliefs that no longer serve me. This process of change and transformation is not always easy and often takes courage—but the rewards are more than worth the effort. “If you have faith when you pray, you will be given whatever you ask for.”(Matthew 21:22)

In order to recognize myself and thereby affirm my presence in the world and in my moral sphere, I must know what to look for and where to find it. In other words, I must have an idea of what the self is in my modern world. But the task of recognizing the self has been made difficult by the problems of modernity. “We have been created in the image of God”, my essence or innermost self is aware of this connection. Balance, harmony, and compassion are the natural state of my innermost self. Since spirituality is an experience, the degree to which I reflect the qualities of balance, harmony and compassion in my everyday moment-to-moment experience will support my connection to God. These problems are made visible in the two opposite notions of the loss of the self, or alternatively, the absorption with the self, both of which impoverish our sense of self. I will argue against the notion of the self as one that is constantly changing to meet the demands of the competing voices surrounding it. Rather, I will not argue that I must find a vantage point from which to view the world and create a sense of self that persists through time. I cannot be, “populated with the character of others.” Being a “self” must mean more than being an image, wearing a mask, or playing a role.


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