On January 4th, 1962 Dolores and Donald Marshall gave birth to their fifth child, my mother Patricia Marie. She was born in Sisters Hospital in Buffalo, New York. She grew up in a house with five bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room and one bathroom. This seems like a pretty big house except for one thing. There were ten of them, eight girls, one boy, and the parents. Her family was not the wealthiest family, but with everyone working together they made ends meet.
She lived in the Love Joy section of Buffalo. It was one of the worst neighborhoods in Buffalo. The worst gang in Buffalo lived there. It was not as bad as it sounds. If you lived on the right side of the railroads you were protected. No one would mess with you if you lived in Love Joy. The gang would make sure of it. Your back was always covered.
In 1981 my mother married my father, Todd Morrison. The next year they had me in March. Three years later my dad was offered a job in Florida that my mom urged him to take. So in 1985 we moved to Florida, it was the four of us. Oh, my younger brother, Donald, was born in 1983. Then in 1986 my mother had her third child, Christopher. Then in 1989 my dad?s job would take us to North Carolina, and we have lived here ever since.
Ever since she was little she had to be the center of attention. I guess it would make sense since she was the middle child of such a big family. It was sometimes hard to get the attention too. I remember on of my aunts telling me, ?Patti always had to be different. She had to make sure the attention was always on her? My mother was different also. Instead of staying in New York like all her sisters and her brother, she moved away. She wanted the attention on her and moving was a pretty good way. Especially when she came back to visit. Everyone would ask how she was, if she liked her new, how her kids were, and if she was happy. It made her happy to know that everyone missed her and that when she came home she was the lead actress on stage and no one could take that role from her. No one else was gone. Just her.
It was not recently until I really noticed how badly my mother wanted that attention, how badly she wanted to be center stage. I graduated in June. I was not really upset that any of my aunts or uncles came to see me, but she was really upset about it. She even made a list of all the people who did not send me graduation money. I told her it did not matter but to her it did. It was so ridiculous like it was her graduation or something, but maybe her getting so upset was her way of getting attention from me. Maybe she wanted attention from me because I was going to be leaving soon.
I?ve realized that I strive for attention to. I don?t mean to but I think I learned it from my mother. I?m not as bad as she is but I do strive for attention a lot. I try to get most of the attention when it comes to Dave, my boyfriend and me. He goes to school about six hours away and it makes me strive more for the attention, and sometimes it?s really hard. I get so upset when I don?t have all his attention. And now I have to get used to not having the attention. It?s hard to; I get so upset sometimes when I know that I don?t have his full attention. I?m getting better at my strive for attention, and I?m starting to realize that I have his attention. I just have to learn to remember that even when it seems like I?m not, I am the center of his world.
This is not a bad trait but sometimes it can be, because when you try so hard for the attention most of the time you don?t get the attention that you think you deserve or even want. It?s a good trait because you strive for attention gives you motivation to try your best and succeed. My mothers strive has gotten her a head manager position at a restaurant. She gets all the attention she wants now because people have no other choice but to listen to her. My strive for attention has gotten my to achieve some of my goals.
Ever since I have been little I have wanted to help people. I?ve always wanted to be the person to convince people that with a little work you can work to achieve your goals. I always wanted to help people. I realize when I was in fifth grade that I wanted to be a psychologist and work with kid who have depression or have bad child hoods. I?m now in college and I?m starting to reach some of my dreams and goals! I just have to remember that when I?m not center stage that I am the lead actress, of my life at least