Teenage Males Communications And Mannerisms Essay, Research Paper
Although many think it disingenuous to communicate differently among two different friends, or change one s presence and language when a member of the opposite sex enters the room, the fact is that it is commonplace of all of us; it is discourse. Many aspects such as class, age, and culture may change our speech and individual behaviors. One of the most distinctive examples of this is teenage boys. I observed and interviewed 3 teenage boys about their interaction amid other young men, with members of the opposite sex, and among parents and friend s parents. But before I started I made a hypothesis; I assumed that they would all be most comfortable, relaxed and open among other teenage guys; put on a little bit of show, speak more intelligently and carry themselves with a more imperturbable attitude for girls; and try and be a American role-model in front of parents, but this show would cause them to reserve and humble themselves. So I proceeded to watch these three friends interact with each other, girls, and even parents. I noticed the differences in speech and body language. I was sometimes an outside observer, but often a part of the group as well. I talked to them and asked whether they were aware of the differences. When I was done, I found out that my hypothesis was generally correct. The first person that I observed was Tom Galvin, my roommate, shy to the stranger but generally outgoing once a relationship is built. During my discussion with him he told me that he tried to be himself around everyone. Tom also said that he had a hard time doing this around girls, is better around parents, but most comfortable in the presence of male peers. This did not quite fit my hypothesis; being more comfortable with parents than girls, but never the less I continued with my observations of him. Among friends he is more casual, much less respectful, and prone to swearing in a joking way, as is commonplace among teenage friends. Tom also carries himself with less refinement, and is more likely pulled around than leading. Tom acts as most teenagers do with their friends. These attitudes are contrary to those displayed around members of the opposite sex. Tom is more withdrawn in the presence of girls. He isn t as talkative, and greatly reduces his gestures. He is overly respectful to the point of being intimidated by them. He closes himself to them and often has his arms folded. His parents came down for the weekend, giving a perfect opportunity to observe. Around his parents he seems very at ease. Tom was excited to see them and showed so in his body language. He all but pulled them around showing them stuff. He was respectful and courteous, but joked and treated them as friends. This attitude was not unlike that which he treats his friends with. These characteristics were unlike those I predicted. He was most comfortable around men, then parents, and then girls. This greatly contrasts my next subject. Mike Hurst, a friend from home, is the second person that I used. I didn t get a chance to observe him specifically for this project, but being a best friend for years I feel that I saw more of his characteristics than any of the other subjects. Mike greatly contrasts Tom. He likes to be the center of attention and does this through stories with tremendous gestures. He is a very physical person with everybody. He is very close to his guy friends and likes to show it. Besides the obvious wrestling and play fighting, hugs and kisses are parts of our friendship. He is very at ease with his friends, as was Tom, but Mike is equally at ease with girls. Not really the same, different, but equal. He is more respectful toward woman, but equally teases them. He is one of the bigger flirts that I have ever seen. He likes physical contact, hugs, kisses and tickling girls. He likes to be the life of the party, and does so by always keeping himself open to the crowd, always wanting to see everything and be a part of it. He will go to where the crowd forms, then to the middle of it. His charm works on guys and girls alike, even on some parents. Some parents like Mike, others do not, this is because of the way he deals with them. He relates to them as peers. He talks to them as an old friend, chatting and telling his famous stories. He knows not to swear, but sometimes forgets. He is politely physical with them, always greeting them with a hearty handshake or a warm hug when appropriate, giving the allusion of complete personal security. This is an act though and it can be seen when closely watched. He often tries to keep his distance and never talk to them face to face, so Mike will stand across a kitchen counter or a billiards table. He likes having parents on his side and shows so physically by facing the same direction as them or standing next to them, proverbially putting them on the same team. He as well does not fit to my hypothesis, but for other reasons. Mike too fits the male friend s part, and he does fit into the girl part, but his behavior and actions around parents are not that of my theory. My theory holds up now only as a combination of Tom and Mike. The third subject, however, holds more true to my hypothesis.
The third and final subject I looked at was a floor-mate, Todd Ahern. As with the other two he is very relaxed around the guys. He likes to be in the mix and often is the center of attention. He has some exaggerated gestures, but not all the time. He is playful and physical, but often he will be talking while doing other things, such as playing a computer game or watching television. When he is around girls, he does change. He doesn t slouch as much, tries to dress nicer if he is going to be with girls, and treats them with gentle respect. Todd associates well with woman and often talks to them. He opens up his presence to them. He likes to be physical with them as well, hugs for instance. Todd would rather talk to a girl about an emotional problem and often goes to them when a personal situation occurs. This often leads to holding hands or cuddling. Todd seems comfortable in their presence, but still more respectful and pretentious for girls. Parents seem to be attracted to Todd. He has moved around a lot in his life and met a lot of older people. He has grown to not fear them and to be respectful, yet witty. Todd still closes himself from them with his arms and doesn t like to face them head on. Todd comes, by far, the closest to my prediction, feeling equally comfortable around men and women. He puts on a little bit of a presentation for girls and parents, but respectful. He is almost the mean between the other two subjects. These observations have led me to the conclusion that my hypothesis was correct for the most part. These three teenage boys, Tom, Mike, and Todd, all have different characteristics. They all relate to each group differently, but each has similar tendencies. They are all very comfortable in front of male peers, some differences around females, and all relatively comfortable around adults, although in different ways. Mike and Todd are both comfortable around female peers, but in different ways than their male peers. Although there can be an average way a certain group of people act, there are always those who break free from the mold. Every teenage male has been brought up differently and will be more comfortable around certain groups of people and although each have universal attributes every teenage boy will have different comfort zones.
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