THE ADVANTAGES OF STUPIDITY Most people say being stupid will lead no where. They claimthat it is the worst possible condition in which to spend one’slife, and if possible, it should be completely avoided. They wouldeven suggest if the symptoms of stupidity are caught in the earlystages, it could easily be treated by a surgeon. The most effectivemethod used to do this is the chainsaw technique, later describedin volume two. Yet, perhaps if people took a closer look at someof the advantages stupidity had to offer, they wouldn’t have sucha negative attitude toward it. After reading this paper, one willunderstand the advantages of stupidity. Admittedly, stupidity has certain disadvantages. Life isn’t a bowlof cherries. And being stupid doesn’t make it any fruitier. Beingstupid can annoy even the most sensitive people. If one actsstupid, and does it in the wrong crowd, like a group of adults, itwill seem more immature than funny. If one is forced to act stupidwhile dealing with lower life forms, for example, high schoolteachers, one may encounter barriers such as cruelty andinsensitivity, with the utterance of statements like, “Think withyour head straight!” or, “You have a brain, use it.” Yet these areall true, there are still many advantages to stupidity. The first advantage is very easy to understand. Stupid people arenever asked to do a lot. Many have noticed that people tend tosteer away from someone they feel may be stupid. This is for avery good reason. The stupidity which they posses makes a name forthemselves, a name which can be very difficult to shake. Possibly,it is a word which describes the working habits of the person, suchas “crappy”. Yet, this creates a positive situation for thestupid person. They will have a lot of free time on their handsfor more of lifes truly meaningful pleasures. Some of theseactivities are combing facial hair, and counting the pixels on aSony TV. Now, there has been a rumour going around that suggests that stupidpeople have low expectations. This is true. They are so stupidthat they don’t realize great from O.K. They could have a Sanyocordless phone, but would probably choose instead a Pierre Cardinalarm clock telephone, because it comes free with their sensamaticfolding bed. And someone with the “advantage” of stupidity might have a hardtime doing certain tasks, or setting things up. Yet this isn’t allbad. For example, if a stupid person leaves the chore, and comesback to it later, no one will be able to understand it. Would theyget fired from their job? No. For the very simple reason that no
one would understand their work except for them. The job wouldhave to be given back to the stupid person, perhaps with a highersalary, or someone would do it for them, leaving them with evenmore free time!Free time is great for brainstorming (Admittedly this seems to bea bad choice of words!). Yet the ideas stupid people create tendto be original. For example, when was the last time someone stupidsaid something, and made one think about it? It seems that peopleare always talking about someone elses dumb idea. An example ofsuch an idea would be, “How many stories will that english teacherdrop before having a stroke?” This would suggest that stupid people may have the upper hand whenit comes to thinking up original ideas. In fact, the next timesomeone wants an original idea for something, they should trytalking to their local, community stupid person. The reason forthis is that while a stupid person thinks with his head, he doesnot do so an organized manner. This is why they have so muchcreativity. By thinking in this fashion, their ideas have anatural tendency to flow more easily, without the interruptionswhich occur from the editing of thoughts that logical people wouldhave normally. Thus if someone else should say to one, “That wasa stupid idea!” one should merely look that person straight in theeye, and say, “Thank-you!” This also means that the claim, “Stupidminds think alike.” is not true. All stupid minds have differentideas, each idea being original. One of the final advantages of stupidity is that stupid people arealways remembered, even after graduation day. It has been noticedhow a quiet person is always hard to detect, and often remainsanonymous. There is a very good reason for this. The mind has ahard time keeping quiet people in its memory track. But it is mucheasier and pleasing for the mind to remember someone really stupid.Anyways, when was the last time one laughed at an idiot in onesgrade 12 class? When was the last time one laughed at the littlekid at the back of the room? The evidence here proves how stupidpeople last longer in someones thoughts. The largest advantagewhich arises from stupidity is that it takes up 2/3 of DNA storagespace, which is excellent for keeping stupidity in the family. Thus, stupidity clearly has many advantages, as long as someone issmart enough to use them! It is important to understand thatstupid people are like all other humans physically. Yet, becauseof the difference between smart and stupid people, smart humanbeings should give them some breathing space. Teachers can learnthat someone graced with stupidity, deserves more respect. Afterall, they are special.