Role Of Sexes Essay, Research Paper
Roles of the Sexes The submissive role of the female
in a marriage or relationship is a common problem in
many societies, including our own American society.
This role has become so common that in fact it is now
expected of the female. This male dominance goes as
far back as the human race, to the beginning of
relationships and marriage between the female and the
male. Then, the physical prowess of the male led to
his dominance in all situations and thus formed these
roles. Even presently, with all our advances in equal
rights and women?s? advances in the work fields, this
role of submission and passivity is still present
among our society. Why do women accept this role? Why
hasn?t it banished with the right to vote and her
expansion into the male-dominated workplace? These
roles are inbred into our society. The men are raised
to lead and take charge. Women, on the other hand, are
taught that their place is to keep peace, and in most
scenarios that means conforming. There are many
reasons women accept or allow this role. For many
women, they find safety in allowing the male to
dominate the relationship. The submissive role is
familiar or so expected that the women fear changing
the situation. Many authors illustrate this role of
the sexes and portray some reasons and situations that
are common in our society, such as Sidonie-Gabrielle
Colette, in her story ?The Hand?, and James Joyce, in
?Eveline?. These two authors both, even though each
describes a woman in a very different, yet remarkably
similar, situation, discuss one of the major reasons
women succumb to males. Colette was a significant
feminist in the early 1900?s when the women?s right
movement was in full swing. She fought for equal
opportunities for women and proved it was possible
when she was the first woman to be admitted to the
Goncourt Academy. As a novelist, she used her writing
to illustrate the assumed roles society has developed.
The Compact Bedford Introduction to Literature
remarks, ?Her professional life and three marriages
helped to shape her keen insights into modern love and
women?s lives.? (Compact Bedford, 196). Colette
understood the expected submission role because she
had lived the role of the wife several times. Also, as
one of the few women in the workplace, she was
subjected to even more male supremacy. She could write
about the reasons why women comply because she
understood and had been a victim herself. In ?The
Hand?, Colette relates a story of a young bride. From
the beginning of the story, she sets up the role of
submission in the woman, and the domination in the
husband, this unbalance of power. The husband is
asleep, yet he still holds the power. While he sleeps
comfortably, the wife is awake, supporting his head so
that he may be comfortable. She won? t even move
because she fears waking him. He may not have
consciously forced this authority over her, but he or
she created it in her mind. When he twitches, the
young wife believes it is her fault. She says
guiltily, ?I?m so heavy?I wish I could get up and turn
the light off. But he is sleeping so well?.? (Colette,
197). She does all she can to satisfy him and to
comfort him, even at the expense of her comfort or any
other luxuries. For example, ?the arm twisted again,
feebly, and she arched her back to make herself
lighter.? (Colette, 197). Here, she is succumbing to
him, even if it is through his unspoken wishes and
through his actions. Even though this is a minute
example, she is giving in to his desires. She gives up
what she would rather in order to keep him content.
Colette uses the description of the characters to
emphasize the unbalance of power. Not only does the
husband outweigh the wife in power in the
relationship; he is physically dominant as well. The
young wife is described as slim and adolescent. The
husband, on the otherhand, is described as having
physical, not only mental, prowess. He is handsome,
athletic, and physically dominant. He has very big
arms, hands larger than the wives whole head, and
?powerful knuckles and the veins engorged by the
pressure on his arm? (Colette, 197). By describing him
such as big, powerful, and hair on his hands and arms,
the author portrays him as an animal of sorts. At one
part of the story, the wife even remarks on this when
she says, ?It?s as if I were laying on some animal?
(Colette, 197). The hand is described as ?apelike? and
?lowered its claws, and became a pliant beast?
(Colette, 197). The author uses this as a tool to show
unbalance of power. It is used to help the reader
understand that the male is dominant in all respects
of the relationship. His physical supremacy enhances
his authority in the marriage as well. The wife lays
awake, afraid to move because she is supporting his
sleeping body. She is so fearful to wake him that,
even though she is in discomfort and wants to turn off
the light, she relinquishes so as not to bother him.
As the story continues, she begins to see this darker
side of him. Before, she did not realize she was
succumbing to him or that he had any power over her.
The young wife realizes his physical prowess and his
potential to do harm. The story never says if he
actually abuses her, but metaphorically shows through
her thoughts and actions of the hand that he could or
does. The hand, through her imagining and thoughts,
takes on animalistic characteristics. This reflects
upon the barbaric natures, the animal like fierceness,
of the dominating male in relationships. The hand is
described ?offended, reared back and tensed up in the
shape of a crab and waited, ready for battle?
(Colette, 197). When she is disgusted by this
behavior, the hand becomes defensive. This behavior of
the hand is a metaphor for the roles in relationships.
The male is often abusive or controlling in a
dominant-submissive marriage. If the wife does not
comply with his orders, then he often strikes out,
whether it is by physical force or verbally. After the
fact, especially if the wife is disgusted or hurt, the
male usually denies such behavior on his part. In the
same way the hand ?appeared to respond to this
startling discovery, this disgust. It regrouped its
forces?? (Colette, 197), the male becomes defensive
because he knows he is guilty of the act, but does not
accept responsibility. In this way, the hand
symbolizes all dominating relationships. By the
conclusion of the story, the wife realizes the power
he has over her. In realizing this, she has the chance
to free herself of this role of submission. However,
she chooses to succumb. The final line, ?Then she
concealed her fear, bravely subdued herself, and,
beginning her life of duplicity, of resignation, and
of a lowly, delicate diplomacy, she leaned over and
humbly kissed the monstrous hand? (Colette, 198),
shows that she decides not to change her situation,
but rather accept her role of submission. Why does she
choose this life? For the young wife, as for many
women who accept the same path, there is security in
the non-dominant role. All the decisions are made for
them. Also, it might be that she knows no other love.
This is her first relationship and she is still an
adolescent. She does not know if these roles are
normal and excepted, but she also doesn?t know if they
are not. This life is still exciting and new to her,
and for the most part she enjoys it. He is not abusive
all the time; in fact he is often charming. The next
morning he shows his charming side when he asks ?Do
you want this slice, darling? I?ll butter it for you?
(Colette, 197). The wife, as do many women, almost
trick themselves into thinking that he is not bad
because he can good sometimes. And the times he is
good, he is really kind. The wife decides she can
accept her fate in the role of resignation because she
begins to think it isn?t that bad all the time. Also,
she was used to submitting under her parent?s
authority. This is the first time she is not under the
watchful eye of her parents. That wasn?t that long
prior to this story. Therefore, the submissive role is
familiar and less frightening than change. People are
afraid of change, and for many women diminishing these
roles would require change. James Joyce?s story
?Eveline? further illustrates on this fear for change.
In this story, the woman is not dominated by a
husband, but rather her father. Her mother passed
away, and Eveline was left to assume the role of
taking care of her siblings and the household. Her
father, even though is not described in detail, is
hinted as being abusive and tyrannical. ?He was
usually bad of a Saturday night? (Joyce, 428), meaning
he drank heavily. He also controlled Eveline?s
spending, and forced her to do the shopping and
cleaning. Eveline obeyed without a word for fear that
he would strike her. She says, ?Even now, though she
was over nineteen, she sometimes felt herself in
danger of her father?s violence? (Joyce, 428). Eveline
wanted to move onto a better life. She did not want to
be treated as her mother had; she did not want to be
forced to succumb her entire life as had her mother
and many other women. When a sailor asked for her hand
in marriage, Eveline jumped at the chance. She saw
this as her way out, as a way to change her situation.
She thinks, ?in her new home, in a distant unknown
country, it would be not like that. She would not be
treated as her mother had been.? (Joyce, 428). This
was her chance to change her situation. However, when
the time came for her to leave, she backed out. She
decided to remain with her life at home with her
father rather than move on and marry this sailor. She
had the chance of freedom and did not take advantage
of it. Why did Eveline decide to stay with her role of
submission? She was afraid of change. ?In her home
anyway she had shelter and food; she had those whom
she had known all her life about her.? (Joyce, 428).
Her home and the people around her were familiar. With
change she didn?t know what to expect. At least at
home, even if it was not the best situation, she knew
her place and her role. Also, submission was the only
love she had known. Her father and his tyrannical ways
were the only life she had ever experienced. While
Eveline is thinking and deciding whether or not to
leave with the sailor, she reflects back on her life
and says, ?It was hard work-a hard life-but now that
she was about to leave it she did not find it a wholly
undesirable life.? Even though she was not delighted
by her current role, she found comfort in its
familiarity and found security in knowing what her
role was. Eveline even convinced herself that her
father wasn?t that bad. She says, ?Her father was
becoming old lately, she noticed; he would miss her.
Sometimes he could be very nice.? (Joyce, 429). Like
many women in the same situation, and like the young
wife in ?The Hand?, Eveline saw the male that is
oppressing her as not evil. She almost convinces
herself that he is good, that he doesn?t mean to be
dominant and abusive. His behavior is tolerable
because it is familiar and can be kind. She, as many
women, feels that succumbing and caring for the
household and the male is her duty. She is scared by
change. This fear was so strong that she would rather
resign to the male dominance. These stories depict
many of the reasons behind the formation and the
continuation of these roles of dominance and
submission. It began a long time ago with the male
being physically dominant, and then assumed supremacy
in relationships. The women were forced physically or
verbally or emotionally to obey and comply. Now, with
advances in women?s rights and the expansion of
women?s role in the workplace and society, they are
given a chance to abolish or escape these roles. Yet,
many of the women do not take this chance. Maybe they
feel it is their duty, or are just scared of the
change as Eveline did. Or perhaps the women do not
recognize the male supremacy, as the young wife in
?The Hand? initially did not. For whatever reason, it
is strong enough so that the women continue to accept
these roles as they have for hundreds of years. These
will not change until either the women decide to
change and not succumb to men, and society cease to
breed these roles into the minds of the children.
The Compact Bedford Introduction to
Literature. Michael Meyer. Bedford / St. Martin?s,
Boston, 2000. Joyce, James. ?Eveline?. The Compact
Bedford Introduction to Literature. Michael Meyer.
Bedford / St. Martin?s, Boston, 2000.
Sidonie-Gabrielle, Colette. ?The Hand?. The Compact
Bedford Introduction to Literature. Michael Meyer.
Bedford / St. Martin?s, Boston, 2000.