Lost In Time Essay, Research Paper
Why Can’t I Just Be Like Everyone Else?
final draft
Portuguese parents today tend to be stricter on their daughters
than most other cultures. I myself am a one hundred percent Portuguese female brought up by
traditional parents and therefore can relate to this statement. Why is it that we are treated
differently? Should our culture have anything to do with how we are raised in today’s society?
I speak on my behalf and realize that as I become older my
parents seemed to become alot stricter than my friend’s parents. (non-Portuguese) Why is this?
I am honestly not sure, but I know it has something to do with how my parents were brought
up. I see this everyday in the way that my grandmother treats my mother. “Avo”, or
grandmother, as we say in Portuguese is very old-fashioned and traditional. Mom carries these
old customs to the way she raises me. I feel that this accounts for the fact that we cannot get
along.
I am now eighteen years of age and considered a legal adult. I
should be handed more responsibility and trust. For example, my parents do not allow me to
sleep out unless it is a family member’s house. “Mom, can I sleep over Taylor’s house tonight.”
Out of the question. I wouldn’t dare ask. I’d only get rejected. It didn’t matter how much I
begged or what I promised there was no way I was getting away with it. “Why do you want to
sleep over, so you can stay out past your curfew?” Any excuse in the book you could come up
with my mom had already memorized. To this day she hasn’t given me a reason for this, but then
again I’m sure she doesn’t have a valid one. However, there hasn’t been a fight that my mom has
put up that I can’t argue about and win.
One of the biggest battles today between Portuguese parents
and their daughters are curfews. Why is it that we have to be home before the sun goes down?
I know that just last year, at the age of seventeen, my parents wanted me home at 11:00 p.m. I
think I must have fought about this curfew everytime I went out. All of my friends who were of
mixed cultures that time had curfews of 12:00 a.m. or later. I thought this was so unfair and
often did not even want to go out with my friends because we always had to leave wherever we
were to drop me off early.
Another difference I have always had that distinguishes me from
my friends is the issue of boyfriends. I was never allowed to go out with guys or date anyone
until I turned eighteen. My closest friends were bringing guys home to meet their parents at the
age of sixteen. I never really complained about this however because I knew most guys meant
trouble. I didn’t just assume this; I could see it with my friends. If I was to go out with a guy it
would have to be a respectable Portuguese male.
As I grew older, even pagers and cell phones were inaccessible
to me. My mother’s famous words were,” What are you some type of drug dealer.” I was not
allowed to have either until I received my license and I had a car. My grandmother viewed this
new technology as an easier way for bad people to keep in close contact with eachother. This
had influence on my mother and she wouldn’t allow me to purchase them.
“Choose your friends wisely.” How could I choose my friends
when my parents did it for me? I wasn’t allowed to hang around with certain people because
other people might think I was like them. Who could I hang around with you might ask. Well, if
you narrow it down to the selected few they seem to fit in one category- FAMILY! I agree it
was pathetic. My friends were utter losers who thought walking their dogs was a fun passtime. I
spent most of my time at home or on the phone with real friends.
Hobbies seemed to also bring up alot of family discussions. As
we discussed in class, girls played with Barbies and boys played with action figures. As I grew
up, I was captain of the basketball and volleyball team, I lifted weights, took kickboxing, raced
go-carts and dirtbikes, and drove a fast car. All to my mother’s dissapproval. I had to be the
perfect girl. There was always something I just wasn’t doing right. I led a life of stress and
competition; always striving to be the best.
I blame everything on tradition. Why I couldn’t stay out, why I
couldn’t have a boyfriend, and why I shouldn’t ride dirtbikes. I think Portuguese parents should
raise their children today according to what is going on presently and not how they were raised
in Portugal thirty to forty years ago. It is truly important to keep up with the times and live
accordingly to today’s society but with your own good judgement. Let your child lead a normal
life with all the advantages everyone around them has. Why should we be any different because
we are Portuguese. This gives people the right to stereotype us Portuguese girls. I know that
when I say I am Portuguese I don’t want to hear,”Oh, you must have strict parents.” Why can’t
we just be treated like everyone else? The answer to this question is that tradition doesn’t allow
us to.