Interview With A Ufo Essay, Research Paper
Interview With A UFOThe other night I was takin the trash out. I heard ol’Bessie, my cow carryin on like there was a snake in herpin. I ran over and I said “Bessie, you best hush up!”That’s when I seen it. It was a round hunk of metal flyinthrough the sky. At first I thought it was the top of mygrain bin. That’s where I’ve been keepin my manure that Iuse on m’gardern. I thought to myself “Oh Boy!Someone’s done thrown a match in there. That’s whenthis little green light shot right down from it and burn upmy okra patch. All of a sudden where that little green lightwas, these creatures walked out. I ran in and got myshotgun.When I came back out, they said sumpthin like “Takeme to your leader.” I told `em “I don’t know much abouttakin’ you to my leader but they’re fixin to meet theirmaker if they didn’t get on out of here. Then they madethe ugliest fact at me and started talkin Japanese back andforth at each other. All of a sudden I heard Bessie again,but when I looked over, they zapped that poor ol’ cow upto their hunk of metal spacecraft. I told `em they better
put her back or I was gonna call the UFO sightings hotlineon them like I did on all of their friends. I said ” I knowabout all of your tests you run on them poor animals likeBessie cause I’ve been watchin’ the X-Files on my big 10inch black and white TV.” Then they started gibberingback and forth again and I’ll be dang if they didn’t zap myold John Deere up on that ship too. That’s when I gotreally mad. I think they understood English too causewhen I told em what I thought of that spaceship, theystarted shootin’ that laser gun at me. I said “Yowweee!!!”Then I took off runnin’ up the hill.I guess they must’ve realized how big my shotgunwas cause they got back in their ship and took off for thesky. Everything’s been pretty normal since then, exceptmy wife, Bell, got meaner `cause I make her pull the plownow. I know them danged ol’ aliens will be back cause Ididn’t have any diesel in my tractor and they’ll never beable to go anywhere with it on empty. I’ll be ready for`em. by spyder@bootheel.net