“Linda, why don’t you meet your boy friend today?” “Oh, Amy, Are you crazy? Meeting a jerk like him right before my birth day is like a nightmare.” “But still???? It’s your 20th birth day. Why don’t you just call him then?” My boy friend, John, he has been acting like a jerk since when we were young. He always forgets my birth day and to save money, he didn’t buy me a music tape but always recorded the songs with his own voice. One day, he said that he is going to give me present that is really sexy. His offer was good enough to make me feel so happy. I’ve never thought that he would buy me a present like that. But as soon as I opened the box, once again, I realized that he was a real jerk. He bought me an underwear, which is way too big for me. “How could you do this to me?, don’t you even know how to make girls’ happy?, do you think it looks sexy?” “Oh, I didn’t know it would be too big for you, but you know what?, I think baggy is sexy. Promise me to show yourself with that underwear on later, ok? Haha~” Even though he’s a jerk like that, I had to call him. Being with a jerk is better than being alone on my birthday. “Hello?” “It’s me??” “Who? Who’s this?” “Gosh, it’s me Linda!” “Oh, you should have told me your name before. Anyway, why did you call me?” “Do you want to go to the movies if you have time?” “No!” “Why?” “I don’t want to spend money on watching a movie.” “Ok, I’ll pay for you. Now, happy?” “Ok, I will see you at the theatre at 2:00″ I asked my sister for some money and went out to meet that jerk. “Linda~~!” He was walking toward me with smile. If he wasn’t smiling, I would have almost punched his face. I bought two tickets. What kind of a guy asks a girl to pay? Stupid jerk. We had some time because the movie starts at 3:30 and suddenly he suggested an idea to kill some time. “Linda, do you want to play a game? From now to 3:00, I will hook up a girl, and you hook up a boy, and whoever hooks up faster will get both of the tickets. What do you think of my idea?” I didn’t even answer that question and took him to a coffee shop and killed stayed there until the movie starts and we headed to the theatre. “Linda, do you want to get some popcorn?” “Yes!” I was so happy. “Then go and get some popcorn. Oh, don’t forget to buy a drink!” That’s what I just expected. It’s impossible for him to have money and even though he has money, he’s not that kind of person who would spend money on girls. The movie was sad enough to make me sob. Suddenly, I heard a loud noise. John was crying very loudly. Because he was crying so hard and loud, people started to laugh at him. So at the saddest point is the movie, people was laughing instead of sobbing. After we watched the movie, he asked me to play a pool with him. Oh, god, he will probably ask me to pay again but I couldn’t say no. At the billiards, I saw this pretty girl, saying hello to John with a very big smile. I was so nervous. How could a girl like that say hello to John? I couldn’t understand it. “How is uncle doing?”, John asked her. “Of course! How about aunt? Is she doing ok?” “My parents are not home. They went on a trip.” They were cousins. That explains why she was saying hello to him with a big smile on her face. After we played the pool, I asked him to go to a karaoke bar. “Linda, are you gonna pay for me?” “Oh, god. Don’t you even have some money to spend on your girl friend? Don’t you want to spend some money on me? Damn it. Ok, I will pay for you.” I didn’t like the way of him being a jerk to me. But because it was the first time to go to the karaoke bar with him, I was happy on the other side of my mind. When we entered the karaoke bar, a guy who seems to know John, came to him and wished him a luck. I couldn’t understand why he said that to John. “Are you going to take a driver’s license test?” “Oh, no. That guy is a little bit crazy. Just ignore what he just said, ok?” Anyway, we had a pretty good time in there singing. He was a good singer. We stayed there until 9:00 and he asked me to go to the restaurant. But because I wasn’t hungry, I just told him to go home. When I got home, I took out a diary from my bag to write a diary as usual. And then I found out that it was not my diary. It was John’s. Because we bought the same diary together when we entered the high school, it’s very hard to distinguish whether it’s my diary or his. I called him and told him that I will go to his place to get my diary back. On the way to John’s home, I opened his diary to see what he has written and then I found out that he is going to take a trip to the United States for about 7 months. I got angry. He should have told me that he going to take a trip. “Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong!”, John came out. “Don’t you even know how to be polite? You could have pressed the bell just once. I have my ears right here. What is your problem?” “Oh, shut up, and here’s your diary. Where is mine?” “Oh, it’s inside. Come, follow me.” I followed him and it was so dark. “Why did you turn all the lights off?” “Don’t you think it looks cool?” “By the way, are you planning to take a trip?” “Oh, yeah, just for a while.” “Just for a while? Then why did you write that you are going to stay there for 7 months?” “Because it looks cool, doesn’t?” “Ok, whatever you say, when are you leaving?” “I’m not sure, I haven’t decided it yet. Linda, just sit down on the sofa for a minute, I will bring you the diary, ok?” I was waiting for him for more than a minute, and started to be curious and suddenly, I could hear a song. It was “Happy birth day to you” from The New Kids On The Block. And John was bringing a cake with 20 candles on it with the music and 20 roses. “Linda, you were so sad because you thought that I don’t remember your birthday, right? I was going to do a surprise party for you tomorrow, but because you came today????” I had tears in my eyes. I couldn’t say anything to him. He handed over the roses to me. I was so happy and he sang the Happy birthday song to me. “How did you remember my birthday?” “How could I forget your birth day? We’ve been together for 15 years. Because I wanted to do a surprise party for you, I changed my diary with yours on purpose. Now, come on, wish something before the candle light goes out.” “Ok! I wish that we both live happy and healthy for our whole life together. Now, it’s your turn.” “Oh, ok. I have one wish, but I will tell you when I get back form the trip.” John didn’t want me to go back to my place and neither did I. John suddenly tried to kiss me but I resisted. I told him that when he comes back form the trip, then I would kiss him. John didn’t say a thing, and just nodded. When it was 1 o’clock, I relied my back on his shoulder and he hold me in his arms. I started to feel sleepy and fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning, I found out that his eyes were all swollen up. I thought he was so tired. Anyway, I woke him up and told him that I will go back to my place. “Bye, and happy birthday to you again.” Instead of saying good bye to him, I smiled at him once, and started to walk home. On my way home, I was thinking that what if he kissed me last night? I think I would me happier if he kissed me. “Amy, I am home.” “Linda, where were you?” “I can’t tell you. It’s a secret. Oh, and don’t worry about the money that I owe you, I will pay you back soon, ok?” “Oh, don’t worry about the money, actually, John gave it to me saying that he’s going to have a party with you. He told me to give this money to you when you ask me.” I was surprised again and felt so happy. I didn’t know that he was thinking about me so much like this. Anyway, I was going to write a diary because I couldn’t write it last night. And then I found out a note that saying he’s going to leave next week. I called him that night, but nobody answered the phone. I went to his place next day, but he was not home. I thought he already left. I decided to wait for him and when he comes back from the trip, I promised myself to have a great party for him. I started to work at a coffee shop. And after a week, a guy that I saw at the karaoke bar came in. “You are Linda, right? Your sister told me that you are here.” “Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.” “Did John leave already?” “Yeah, I think so.” “Did you wish him luck?” “What do you mean?” “Didn’t he tell you that he’s going to have an operation? He went to the United States to have the operation.” “What?????” My body started to shake. And I though he is lying to me. “I think he didn’t tell you that because he was worried about you. His operation is scheduled in the end of this month. Wish him luck and pray for him.” He left the coffee shop after he said that to me. I dropped the glasses that I was holding. I couldn’t believe what he said until I got this letter from John after 2 weeks. “Hi, Linda???? I am at a hospital in Pen sylvenia. They told me that I have a cancer. I’m sorry that I left without saying anything to you. I didn’t have a courage to tell you about it. Remember that night when you asked me to say a wish? My wish was ‘If I could love you forever????’ But I couldn’t tell you because I was afraid that I would cry in front of you. I was crying whole night while you were sleeping. Seeing you sleeping very happy and peacefully???? Now, I want to tell you what I wanted to tell you at that night. I love you Linda, after I get to know you, I never stopped loved you for even 1 second. I am having operation tomorrow. Actually, I am very scared. But you know what Linda? I am not scared because I know that God will Save me and now I know how deep your love toward me is. Don’t worry, Linda. I don’t want you to be sad because of me. I will come back to you just to get a kiss that you promised me that night. I promise. Please wait for me my dear. I love you with all of my heart.” I cried and cried the whole night with his letter. A few days later, I started to work at the coffee shop again. He promised to me that he will come back to me, and I believed him. And after a week later, I got another letter from him. As soon as I opened the envelop, I could smell the lip balm that he always used. On the letter, there wasn’t any word but a mark of a purple lip. “Oh????.” I put my lip on to the lip mark and sobbed. That was my first kiss????