Bones Image of Herself
One of the most complex and elaborate character in Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison is Bone. Through out the story Bone has to live a life where she thinks that she is the leading enigma of the trouble being caused. She has numerous unhappy situations. Bone is in no way self-satisfied of herself. She in no way appreciates who she is physically. Bone constantly thinks she is the most homely, dull, and the person who causes difficulty in the family.
Bone thinks of herself as a hideous living thing born. ?I didn?t want to be tall. I wanted to be beautiful. When I was alone, I would look down at my obstinate body, long legs, no hips, and the slightest swell where Dedee and Temple had big round breasts. I had nothing to be proud of. Gawky, strong, ugly_ why couldn?t I be pretty.? Bone is very much concerned about her appearance. Appearance is not the only thing that matters in life. Everybody should cherish the way they are granted by the god. If bone changes the way of her thinking she will acquire a lot from her life. ?All of me was ugly, pasty, and numb-nothing like uncle James girls in their white nylon crinolines and blue satin hair ribbons. They were the kind of girls people really wanted. No part of me was that worship, dreamy-eyed storybook girlchild, no part of me was beautiful. I could see why daddy Glen was hateful to me.? This is really sad because Bone thinks just because she is not pretty as other girls she doesn?t fit in relationship to people in the world. She thinks that because of her being hard-featured people are being prejudice against her. Bone should not care who she is physically, because inside is what matters.
Bone sees herself as an intensely loathing individual and she continuously blames herself for everything that goes wrong in the relations. ?What was it I had done? Why had he always hated me? Maybe I was a bad girl. Evil, nasty, willful, stupid, ugly ?everything he said, maybe I was but it didn?t matter. I hated him and these days I even hated Reese and mama. I was a bowl of hatred, boiling black and thick behind my eyes.? Bone sees herself pack with hate, but it is not really hate. It is her anger inside, she has lots of anger in herself that she can?t hold or possibly it?s her being raised in an impecunious family. Occasionally you feel hate in you when you don?t acquire what you need. Maybe that?s what that bothers Bone. ?Mama hadn?t done anything wrong. I was the one who had made daddy Glen mad. I was the one who made everyone crazy.? Bone believes she is the one who makes daddy Glen mad. Because of her not performing legitimate causes trauma in the family. ?Mama was ashen and silent and wouldn?t look at me. It was my fault, all my fault. I had ruined everything.? Bone is upbraiding herself for mama being soundless. Bone thinks she brings depression in her mom?s life. ?What had she done? I shook my head and swallowed. I knew nothing, understood nothing. Maybe I never would. Who had mama been, what I had she wanted to or do before I was born? Once I was born her hopes had turned, and I had climbed up her life like a flower reaching for the Sun.? By arriving in her mother?s life Bone has made her mom?s life distressed and because of her she has to go through so various struggles. If Bone was not in her life her mom maybe have much moderate and joyful life.
Bone does not value who she is. I think Bone should always adore who she is because appearance is not what counts in life. In reality what concerns is what you are inside. If you are not attractive, it doesn?t mean you are left out or don?t belong in the world.